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my boyfriend doesn't want to french kiss me.
April 3, 2013
4:27 am
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amandapage
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April 3, 2013
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Ok. Im gay and my bf is. He is 33 years old and he was a player and active in sex. After he met me, he struggled being serious in a relationship, i helped him to become a mature person. Its been 3 months already, and he hasn't kissed me like "french kissing". Sometimes i feel bad because i think i begging him to kiss me like a grown up person, he's kissing me like a baby, funny but true. Most of the time i have to ask him to hug me and i even always initiate to have sex. I find myself crying one night because I think he is just keeping me for something,not love at all. but he said he loves me.. So i talked to him about this. He said, he is not a player anymore, so he feels gross out whenever he is frenchkissing me or even having sex (i know for sure he is not like that 4 months ago,he was a "slut") i told him that it's unfair on my side because i can't feel the affection. I dont know if there's a third party or he just don't love me anymore. he told me he loves me but he never shows it through physical contact. he said too that he thinks there's something wrong in him. I dont know if he is just making an alibi. i want to help him because i love him but i am so tired with all of his lies. i want to fight for us both but i think he can let go so easy. I just wanna know if there is a psychological illness like that? Or everything is just a play/game so i would be the one to give up and he wont get the blame if i broke up with him. I am totally torned apart. i dont know if he just lost his interest. I hope someone can give me an advice.thanks a lot.

April 3, 2013
8:07 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Well all I can tell you is that your intuition is telling you that something is not exactly right in your relationship.  If you do not feel loved and cared for by your partner, and if you are being sincere & trying very hard to give true affection towards him, then you need to reconsider the relationship for yourself.

Here is a very simple concept about all relationships between two people or even more.  There has to be an even exchange of everything, or at least an understanding that both parties are receiving & giving enough to support the union.

It's called Sharing.  We either learn this concept very early on or not at all.

You should not stay and expect for your partner to change in accordance to your needs.  You are entitled to give & receive love, trust, respect in a relationship.  You cannot wait for the other person to understand this or change his behaviour.

Sometimes people make this tiny effort to change in an attempt to save something that is good for them on another level, but they really do not change.  Sometimes they just cannot change even when they know they should.

So you either accpet that this is what the relationship is going to be like from now on, or you decide to go through the pain of departing & know that you deserve better.

No matter what you are not responsible for helping him to change & you cannot affect a change in his person.

You can however change what you do next.  How you react to feeling left out in the cold.  Sit down and make sure that you are doing all that you can to be the caring person & then give yourself the right to move on.

I am not telling you what to do, I am just letting you know that you have permission to decide that you deserve better.

 

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