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He cheated on me, but i miss him..
May 7, 2013
4:32 pm
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michellea
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i was talking to a guy who we'll call "C" and he finally asked me out on a wednesday. we both were really happy and liked each other alot. But on friday of that same week i recieved a text from him at 1 am or so. He said he betrayed my trust and was making out with some other girl. I received a phone call from a friend who witnessed it all at a baseball game. it really didn't hit me because i was half asleep but i called him and we talked for an hour. he explained to me what happened but i heard different stories from different people. long story short he made out wit her due to peer pressure and that he loves to win.. within that phone call he told me he was bipolar, had suicidal thoughts, and was a narcissist. when i haf heard he was suicidal it tore me up. that was my number one concern now .. i didn't even want to think about him cheating on me, i just wanted to be there for him. so we stayed friends until sunday came and that's when him cheating on me hit me. i had told 3 of my closest friends everything. 2 of them were furious that i was stupid enough just to stay friends with him let alone talk to him. but my other friend who has been cheated on understood and was okay with whatever decision i made as i long as i was happy. at this point either way i was not happy. it was either my friends or "c". i called him again to straighten things out and we started talking and even laughing.. i felt happy again and he even said so too. he told me many times he wishes he could take that night back and that he's really sorry. he said he's sorry that out of all his girlfriends that he had he's so sorry that it happened to me. he told me i was the most amazingest girl he's ever met. (maybe i'm just a sucker for believing it..but i really do thing he means it. but i ended up picking my closest friends and i'm staying clear from him even though i have a class with him.. in all honesty i'm miserable. i'm reminded of him constantly in alot of topics or objects. i could be myself with him because we shared the smae things i had liked when i grew up with my brothers when my sisters didn't want anything to do with me. and i can't talk about this stuff with my closest friends or anyone because it's something they don't know about. But with him i can talk to him about and laugh.. he was the best thing that happened to me. i really want everything to be okay between us but i'd loose my friends respect..or i'd just loose my friends in general.

May 8, 2013
3:59 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Michellea,

your situation is not an easy one.  I think you need to just try to be "C"'s friend and no one's girlfriend for now.  The problems that "C" has are troublesome, but they are not your own.  Maybe "C" needs to find a way to cope through his issues before you can decide if you even want to try to be more than just friends.  I assume you are very young, so I am sure that even though it will be hard to let go, that there are plenty of choices with boys all around you.  Remember, "C" can always be a friend, and you can always support him as a friend, but you are not a professional & you cannot understand his emotional troubles or advise him.  "C" will need to get real help.

 

One day

May 8, 2013
2:23 pm
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michellea
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thank you for your opinion it really did help. i understand i cannot help him with his suicidal thoughts i just want to be there for him. i don't really want to date him but i want to be his friend. Although my problem now is my friends. i lose respect with them if i want to be his friend. i had told "C" about it and he said that if that's how they are then they aren't good friends. i don't want to lose anyone..

May 8, 2013
6:08 pm
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onedaythiswillpass
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You are welcome Michellea, but the real problem is not losing your friends or "C", as I see it the problem is that you might be losing yourself.  I can only speak from real experience here & I am being so terribly honest right at this minute.  Please stop & think about what you want for you.  What I mean is just for the next few days spend time with yourself and do some things that you like doing on your own.  Next time you speak to anyone of your friends including or excluding "C" first decide by yourself that that is your choice & not anyone elses.  If someone tells you they do not want to speak with you anymore, you might not understand why, but you honour their wish right?  If you feel like being with someone, you ask their permission right?  If they want to hang out they say sure right?  If not, they tell you, right.  So it's not about losing anyone, it's about finding yourself.  It's a little tricky at first because if all along you were doing what you thought others wanted you to do,then it takes time to know what you really want.  Take a couple of days to listen to yourself.  Are you afraid to be alone with yourself?  If so, why?  Have you ever taken time to be entirely alone and just feel o.k.?  Try it.  Write down how you feel.

When you know who you are & what you want, it will be easy to know with whom you wish to be friends.  Take yourself out of that "monkey in the middle game"  None of your friends should treat you this way & you will see that having people in your life that do not try to control your emotions is really the kind of friends that you feel happiest around.  Your very best friend will be you Michellea & you will never lose you or let you go once you see how wonderful you are.

 

One Day

May 10, 2013
7:58 pm
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michellea
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you really opened my eyes! actually after i read your reply i checked my daily horoscope that same day and it said i needed time alone too! i was creeped out but i guess i needed that! honestly i haven't really tried to have time alone doing things i enjoy because of exams. But within that time period i have decided i want to be his friend. i was tempted to ask in one of my classes but i was too hesitant. So now i'm hesitating to text him. i understand that i need to stop asking permission for things i want to do. But i can't help but wonder what they'll think. my friends really do hate "C", but i feel that if we became friends it'd be closure for me and maybe even him knowing we're both doing okay. I was reading his horoscope one night and it mentioned that he was close to finding something happy because he's been sad. but the only thing that's holding him back from that happiness is himself with his past. i couldn't help but wonder if it was talking about him and i. i've noticed he's talking to another girl but i don't know if they're just friends or what. i'm totally fine with it because i know she's a really sweet girl. so maybe she's the happy thing and "C's" past with me is holding him back.

May 10, 2013
8:00 pm
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michellea
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you really opened my eyes! actually after i read your reply i checked my daily horoscope that same day and it said i needed time alone too! i was creeped out but i guess i needed that! honestly i haven't really tried to have time alone doing things i enjoy because of exams. But within that time period i have decided i want to be his friend. i was tempted to ask in one of my classes but i was too hesitant. So now i'm hesitating to text him. i understand that i need to stop asking permission for things i want to do. But i can't help but wonder what my friends will think. I'm scared to tell my friends because they really do hate "C", but i feel that if we became friends it'd be closure for me and maybe even him knowing we're both doing okay. I was reading his horoscope one night and it mentioned that he was close to finding something happy because he's been sad. but the only thing that's holding him back from that happiness is himself with his past. i couldn't help but wonder if it was talking about him and i. i've noticed he's talking to another girl but i don't know if they're just friends or what. i'm totally fine with it because i know she's a really sweet girl. so maybe she's the happy thing and "C's" past with me is holding him back.

May 11, 2013
7:17 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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You can be friends with "C" and care about "C".  How long have you known him?  Are you sure that "C" has a new romantic interest & if so, why is he not telling you, his friend about his new found joy?  I mean it is great that you are happy for him, but if he is really going to be a true friend he has to share good and bad with you and vice versa.

 

Tell me again what you are going to do for yourself today?

 

One Day

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