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Broken, unhealthy relationship ends badly
January 12, 2014
3:45 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
November 6, 2013
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My boyfriend and I recently broke up, over, as best I can tell, his impression that I do not care about him and that he is the last priority in my life.

This is not the case.

That opinion though, stems from many small things. As the most recent example, and cause for our breakup, I was initially planning on going to see him over spring break (we go to college in different states). My parents objected to this trip and told me they may not help fund my education if I decide to use my personal money for unnecessary traveling. 

I told him what they said and that given that, I wasn't at all sure if the trip would still work out.

That is just one example of many such things that have happened. He felt like he was not important to me and he was expendable. 

Here is the problem. I did care about him. I do. I think he is the most amazing guy in the world and I wouldn't have traded him for anything. But doing what my parents wanted seemed logical to me, and not a dealbreaker. I try to think about it from his perspective, but I don't know if I'm fully grasping it.

As of now, I do not think our relationship can be saved. In our last conversation, he told me he hated me, that he was dead to me, and that the more I tried to contact him the harder it would be to. The emotional pain I have undergone has been extreme. We were together for three years and each others' first everything. I do not know how emotionally difficult it has been for him.

I just want opinions. Am I an extremely insensitive person, and do I need to go against my parents to prove my care for someone? How can I care about him and love him so incredibly much but he never sees or understands? I sent him so many e-mails and pictures and texts all of the time to let him know he was constantly in my thoughts. The only thing I never sacrificed for him was my relationship with my parents because I didn't feel ready for that in my life yet. Should I have? I have many times in small ways but he never really saw those things because I tried to keep the conflict to myself. What should I do if I want him to know I care?

January 12, 2014
4:54 pm
Forum Posts: 271
Member Since:
September 5, 2013
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If you are a priority to him then he will move heaven and earth to go and see you.

January 13, 2014
12:37 am
Forum Posts: 13
Member Since:
January 4, 2014
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This guy doesnt seem to care that you care about yourself and your life in the future. Heres my advice. and its a large part of what life is so pay attention. There will ALWAYS be YOUR life, HIS LIFE, and your lves TOGETHER. you will live if your not with him, youll still have to deal with all the same issues with or without him, he will have to do the same, and should you choose to try to stay together, youll have to find a way to deal with ALLLL that stuff together as a team.

It sounds to me like he might have been looking for an excuse to break up with you based on something flimsy, such as a visit right now just not being in the cards for you two. If he really cared, he would understand and even have tried to help SAVE his OWN MONEY to get you to him or vise versa. If hes not paying for anything in getting you to hm, then he should have no say. he doesnt pay the bills.

Your not insensitive at all, infact your completely logical and hes probably more of an emotional thinker then a logical thinker and it sounds like with someone that does this kind of things (like this) he does, that you future with him wouldnt be very long. The mask of disguise of fooling someone into thinking they still really care about you is easier to hold up when your hundreds of miles away because the last memories you have of him are all you have to go on. but people change with or without you being around, and he could have just been testing you to see how much youll sacrifice to make him happy and thats never ok. I would check around with some of his other friends and see if hes not already with someone else and he was just using this dumb excuse to make YOU feel bad because HE ALREADY did something bad. good luck

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