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Am I wasting my time?
October 21, 2013
2:18 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
October 21, 2013
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I really need some help and opinions on this and anything would be appreciated! I have condensed it all down. I am a British girl engaged to an American man. I have come over to California to start our lives together and start to make plans.... This so far hasn't happened and we are still at his mum's house with no wedding date no plans or anything. It really makes me feel worthless. To think of such a special time marred by this.

My fiance has been working on a business website for 10 months now and has no other job apart from that. He isn't taking any money from it currently either.

I left my great job in the UK with my friends and family to start this life together and I feel like he is laughing at me as I am still waiting on him to make plans.

This started back in April 2013 and I am very low on personal funds as I can't work here. I can't help but feel he is trying to control me and I am building a resentment towards him about it. We don't go out like we did when we were in Europe. We fight a lot, usually about money. He isn't affectionate any more and when I tell him how unhappy I am he ignores it and actually verbally attacks my grievance.

I just don't know what to do next. It is eating this relationship up.

October 21, 2013
3:51 am
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
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this is only my opinion, but if I was in your situation, I would pack my bags & go home to your life in the U.K.  From what you are described in your post, your boyfriend or future husband is selfish and controlling.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life obeying his decisions or waiting for him to get his act together?  I understand that you have feelings for him & that this decision will likely be difficult for your heart, but if this guy really wants to be with you, he should show you much more respect.  It seems from what you described that ever since your arrival to the U.S. you have been treated with disregard & since you are the guest in his house, there is no exuse for him to mistreat you.

Go home & wait & see what he does next.  Let him show you that he is serious about this "website" business & more importantly about including you in his daily life.  Sorry, but I feel you are being taken advantage of.


One Day

October 21, 2013
8:38 pm
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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If that's how you feel, just go back to where you would like to be. You're wasting your time staying with someone who doesn't even appreciate your presence and staying in a place you don't love.

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