My sister used to be my hero, my inspiration, my friend, and a parental figure to me for many years. She is 10 years older than me and is a mother of two children (a 16 year old and a 6 year old).
My niece, 6 years old, is in remission from cancer. She was diagnosed before she was even a year old. The diagnosis shattered my sister's world. She was determined to do everything possible to give my niece the best treatment options available. She stayed up for hours on end researching online. She began using meth as a tool to help her stay alert when coffee and energy drinks just wouldn't do. That habit turned into an addiction once my niece began her chemo treatments and needed constant care. My sister tried to be awake for every second that my neice needed her. She watched everything that the doctors and nurses did to her daughter.
I'd hoped that once my sister finally got the news of my neice's cancer being in remission, she would quit using meth or at least slow down and try to quit. She seems to be getting worse, not better.
She ignores my phone calls, texts, and attempts to reach her. When I do speak to her, she is confrontational for no reason. She's become verbally abusive.
I don't know what to do. I miss the way she used to be, but I don't know if that person exists anymore.
When I call her, it's not to shame her for her addiction, I just want to speak to her and my neice and nephew. Luckily, my nephew has his own phone and will answer when I call him, but I haven't talked to my neice in months.
When I got engaged (last May), I asked my sister to be a bridesmaid in my wedding (6 months from now) and for my neice to be the flower girl. She was excited and accepted, but she hasn't shown interest in the wedding since then. When I went shopping for my wedding dress, I sent her pictures of my dress and she told me I looked fat and weird. She hated all of the bridesmaid dress ideas that I've sent her.
My fiancé and my friends don't understand why I still want her in my wedding and why I still talk to her period. My only explanation is that they didn't know her the way I used to know her before the meth. I'm still holding on, hoping that that person is still there deep down and will one day resurface.
As for her getting help, you can't even bring up meth to her without her flipping out. If it's on the phone, she will scream obscenities and hang up, then ignore your calls even more than usual. In person, she gets destructive (throwing things, breaking things, slamming doors, etc) and storms off.
I don't know what to do. I want my sister back. She loves her kids and takes very good care of them, despite the way she treats everyone else. I know that she would never put them in immediate danger, but I'm worried that she'll end up losing them and they've already been through so much.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.