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CODEPENDENCE: A Painful Reality
June 2, 2011
11:46 pm
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Codie_Jim
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I thought it was just a song...How Do I Live (without you)...now I'm faced with the painful reality that I am an ADDICT...A CODEPENDENT...I am now helplessly trying to face this problem with unimaginable pain...i don't smoke...i don't drink...but being addicted to feeling responsible for all the people I love is driving me into the sinkhole of never ending suffering...i don't know what HAPPINESS MEANS...

June 3, 2011
12:47 am
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ShiningLight
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Hi Codie_Jim,

 

You might need to consult a counselor regarding your problem. Don't take it all alone. It would help you a lot if you coud have someone to talk about your condition. It may not be that easy but the only person who could help you most is yourself. Start within yourself and be open. Don't just stay in the corner and assume that you're a hopeless addict/codependent.This might help you find help: http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/local/

One more thing, HAPPINESS is always a choice. If you choose to be happy then you will become one.

 

Be brave and keep safe Smile

June 3, 2011
2:22 am
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Codie_Jim
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Thank you ShiningLight.  Honestly, I've been under the care of a Psychiatrist for more than a decade now.  I was and still am a major depressive patient.  It was my doctor who discussed the codependence findings with me.  I've been fighting my depression and now my codependence all my life.  It's only now that I realized that aside from the depression, I'm still suffering from failed relationships because of my dysfunction.  Happiness is a choice…yes that is what I was told every so often…but I really cannot make that choice…I'm in to medications but I only take them if and when I feel I'm on my way to relapse…

June 3, 2011
5:06 am
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ShiningLight
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Codie_Jim

I'm quite sad about your situation but the only way you can do for yourself right now is to fight and go on with your life. Just continue to take the advises from your psychiatrist. Regarding your dysfunction problem, are you taking different medications? have you tried  some over-the-counter medicines?. Try to look for a partner who will understand and accept who you are and whatever condition you have. That way, you'll be able to find real happiness.

 

Wishing you well. Smile

June 5, 2011
4:40 pm
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Codie_Jim
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Appreciate your kindness and your time...I'm not taking any other meds for my dysfunction.  Just for my depression and sometimes fits of schizophrenia...my relationship just ended last week of May...and this is the reason why I realized I'm a codependent.  She is more than 20 years younger my age...now she's 3 months pregrant to her ex-boyfriend who will not take responsibility for her and the baby...this is the 2nd time I did everything to save the life of innocent children...  She was thinking of aborting the child but I begged her not to...crazy as it may sound but I cannot drop her just like that...even if I'm dying inside...because I feel responsible for her...she grew up without proper guidance...she's also a victim of child abuse...it's a long story...anyways...I know her life will be a total mess if I would leave her now...I broke off with her already but I still take care of her and provide for her...all I know is I'm in a very difficult and painful situation where my MIND and HEART just wouldn't agree...they always fight...and this worsens my condition all the more...Cry

June 6, 2011
7:21 am
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ShiningLight
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Codie_Jim,

 

I don't think providing or helping that girl causes a problem. You have a very kind heart. If it's making you happy then go for it just don't let things be taken for granted. Analyze every decisions you make. If you're too depressed of what's happening around you then at least try to be wise even with the little things you have and you can do. Keep posting and stay positive Smile

June 7, 2011
1:41 am
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Codie_Jim
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Even if it means my extending an embrace is equivalent to me being abused already?  I have helped her for years yet she keeps on hurting me...claiming ignorance of her mistakes...either she's too drunk and did not know what happened...c'mon...I've been too drunk myself but I still know what's going on...

This is the downside...when I'm in my right senses, I'm very angry...but when I'm not...I tend to cling to her and find excuses to help her...see the dilemma?

June 7, 2011
7:53 am
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ShiningLight
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If that's the case Codie_Jim, you need to leave her alone. It will only worsen your situation believe me. Move on and find peace within yourself.Smile

June 8, 2011
1:54 am
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Codie_Jim
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Can Love overcome Betrayal...? I HATE...I FELT BETRAYED...BUT I LOVE (is it really love or am I just in a state of denial?)...and I feel bad about having to go through all these...I want so much to get even for me to move on...but my conscience just wouldn't let me...I hate waking up in the morning still faced with this reality...how to MOVE ON AND FIND PEACE WITHIN ME...something I do not know at this point...sometimes I get so bad with words, I can be so mean...but at another instant...I can be so caring and soft...I feel sorry...I don't know... CryEmbarassedFrownSurprisedSurprisedYell

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