As with any life-long commitment, a marriage has its ups and downs. Unlike the fairytales we read as children, "happily ever after" does require some work and maintenance. We can all probably think of at least a few couples that are still happily embracing one another at their 50th anniversary party and think I want a marriage like that. A huge reason for the success of these couples has to do with their acknowledgement and respect for each other, awareness that triumphant marriages require hard work and commitment, and the willingness to never stop trying. By seeking self-help for your marriage, you're already taking a step toward a marriage like that.
How to Implement Marriage Self-Help
All relationships and marriages require different maintenance techniques. Maybe you're still as close as can be, but just want to enhance your bond or liven things up. Perhaps you've come to realize that "spark" has faded, but you think it will shine again with some help. Maybe you've found yourself in a total rut and you just want to save your relationship and turn it into something more healthy and beneficial. No matter what, keep in mind that, with the efforts of both parties, your marriage can only get better.
Browse Marriage Self-Help Resources By Location
While marriage “self-help” might have a negative stigma attached to it, it can really be a fun, refreshing process. Think of it as a new adventure with somebody you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. While keeping the qualities your partner has that made you fall in love in the first place in mind, you can look to the future with excitement and joyful anticipation.
What is Marriage Self-Help?
Marriage self-help can be a commitment to spend more time together or it can be the awareness of the need to communicate more, and making it a priority to simply talk about the day, or be open to talk about problems with understanding and acceptance.
Sometimes marriages can be improved with the help of a marriage counselor. “Marriage counselor” may also have a negative stigma attached to it, but you don’t need to be on the fringes of divorce or in serious trouble to see one. A marriage counselor can be a great help to any healthy marriage.
There are also many online resources that will be mentioned at the end of this article that can also be of help to your marriage. It’s important to remember that marriage is a journey that is for better or for worse, and it’s going to have both of these elements. But with awareness, willingness, and love, it will be worth it.
Marriage Self-Help Links, Websites and Resources
- Foryourmarriage.org is an interactive website with countless links, forums, articles and information regarding the health and success of marriage. Everything from religion in marriage, sexual intimacy, children, finances and even pre-marriage dating is covered here.
- Retrouvaille, a French word meaning rediscovery, is also a website dedicated to helping couples renew and refresh their marriages. Retrouvaille has events in difference cities for married couples, and is also a program dedicated to marriage help.
- The University of Baltimore, Maryland has this webpage as a guideline to what healthy marriages include. You can use this list as a sort of questionnaire for evaluating your marriage before you decide what step to take next in the self-help area.
- At Psychologicalselfhelp.org, there are many chapters to use as great marriage self-help reading material. All areas from meeting your partner, to marital stages, to avoiding divorce and intimacy are discussed.