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Why do people refuse to go to therapy?

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7:45 pm
March 15, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

Why do you think people refuse to go to therapy? Do you think the stigma attached to it is still active nowadays? Such as being labelled as "Crazy, weird, difficult person or hard to get along with…"?

Thanks!~Ras

8:16 pm
March 15, 2007


balancesekr

New Member

posts -1

hi ras,
People who I know personally and refuse therapy think that they don't need it, can't benefit from it, their parents never went for it…

and yes, I think people are judgemental when you tell them you go to therapy.

It is tough enough to get along with people, trust people, etc… and keep your life personal. I am a firm believer in keeping that stuff to yourself and to a few close friends.
b

8:27 pm
March 15, 2007


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

I have recently decided to quit therapy b/c it never ceased to be an ardous and painful task even though Im not even paying for it. I was suspicious that in my particular case, I wasnt being regarded as the person I am but just a patient in a hospital setting serving as a guinea pig. I thought that my psyq might be only listening to buzz words which matched the disorder she was studying or the research being done at the hospital. Im pretty mistrusting in general, but I made these supositions due to some things that didnt seem quite right by me. After I talked to the psychiqatrist and we put our cards on the table, there arent any hurt feelings that I can tell of between us. So I will continue therapy but once a week instead of twice till the end of the year.

I think all people can benefit from therapy with or without a major disorder. But not any therapy nor any therapist. Credentials need to be checked and your own feelings/intuition needs to be heard.

As for the stigma about disorders in the mental field, I believe it still exists. Depression, for example, has been regarded as a disorder of the rich and famous (esp. in the old days), now as well as the population at large, also being considered the common cold of psychiatry. As for the rest of disorders, people usually shy away from things theyre ignorant about. Recently (95?) there was a book out by Kay Jamison (sp?)called "An unquiet mind" where she wrote very nicely about her bipolar disorder and contributed to dismistify the disorder.

Personally if I were to suffer any prejudice, Id prefer people to discriminate me as depressed b/c people dont act so ignorant about it. I actually suffer from depression, having shied away from people due to it and having people shy away from me. Nothing aggressive. Just people prefer to be around maniacs if they can chose. Maniacs are more fun. Im trying to change my attitude and not be down, talk down, so that I can attract positive energy. Sometimes doing this disguises the disorder even from myself. And puts my emotions on a roller coaster. But being upbeat helps me and those around me more than it doesnt.

Tks, for bringing this up, (((Ras)))!

BTW, do you attend therapy? Do you feel discriminated?

8:54 pm
March 15, 2007


revelation

New Member

posts -1

Fear of the unknown and being judged I'd say. I only went when I couldn't cope anymore, but if I had gone about 10 years ago I would have saved myself soooo much crap! I personally believe everyone in the world could benefit from some therapy and I don't at all see any stigma about it. I really really really hope that people will stop seeing therapy as something only crazy people need…to be honest, anyone I've met who has been to therapy are well-balanced happy fulfilled people.

9:44 pm
March 15, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

Balance~ Thanks for your feedback. Well, too bad the world thinks like that nowadays. No wonder we have so many sick folks at work, nighbourhood etc.

What about Dr. Phil's program every weekday? Doesn't that in itself show the North American culture filled with sick, funny, weird people.

What about the "view" talk show??? Last week on Friday they had a special show All devoted only to "Depression" and they announced that almost every one suffered or will suffer from depression at some time or another in their life. While Rosie O'Donnel showed that funny swing that can balance up the serotonin level in the head.

I can't believe how our North American culture is full of Contradiction, ironies, and bizarre stuff. We tend to educate folks about all the good stuff…and then all of sudden oppps but that might make you look like a bad person! What the heck is this????

Sini~ If you feel uncomfy with your present therapist, why don't you change her? It is really Important to feel comfy with your therapist.

No I am not going right now to a therapist. Tho I did go in the past and honestly benefited from it. I agree with you we All need therapy at some stage in our life. I think most people who seek therapy are really smart.

Sinni! You are very smart person and I am so proud of you b/c you don't care what people call you as long as you feel it is the right thing to do. Ditto!!! Tell me who among us does not suffer from depression. So there is no need to pretend that we're ok all the time!

Thanks for the hug hon. Here is {{{Hug}}}for you hoping that you will find a satisfying solution with your therapist/problem. Remember…if you feel unhappy with your therapist, don't hesitate to change him/her. Don't feel guilty or bad about it.

Rev~ So even in Europe you have this stigma. I agree with what you said as not being a stigma. I repeat "I believe everyone might need some therapy at some stage in their life."

10:29 pm
March 15, 2007


revelation

New Member

posts -1

I'm really not sure how its is in mainland europe, or even in the UK, perhaps its better or worse not sure…but here in Ireland the stigma I would say is a lot worse than the US or canada. Unfortunately.

I'm not sure whether americans realise that there is the big thing in Ireland about "Stupid Americans" and basically anything about showing feelings or being open is scorned and ridiculed, and its all attributed to the U.S.

11:08 pm
March 15, 2007


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Ras, Im giving my therapy another chance and my therapist, too. Im also giving myself another chance b/c its almost impossible to get back once you get out of this hospital´e therapy program. But I will remember your words about changing if Im not comfortable. Your input is important as someone who did therapy, too! (((Ras)))

11:19 pm
March 15, 2007


armyleo

New Member

posts -1

1. scared
2. fear
3. I'm not normal – crazy
4. I've been doing something wrong all these year.
5. Will break down in front of a stranger
6. Scared, they will tell
7. I'll get there and won't know what to say
8. I'm very shy, quiet, it will be like pulling teeth, at first to open up.
9. That I will be judged, told I've been a bad person, or just plain feel stupid for not knowing how to handle life.

8:42 am
March 16, 2007


risingfromtheashes

st regis falls, ny

Member

posts 14

afraid of hearing the truth

too lazy to do the "real work"

don't think it will help

don't feel up to the challenge

afraid of labels

afraid of what others will think

costs too much money (and it can)

for me – finding a GOOD therapist is hard.

don't feel you deserve a "better life"

afraid your loved ones will not support you

10:52 am
March 16, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

{{{Sinni}}} Keep me/us posted about your therapy. I know you posted a thread right now…did not post to you coz I did not have the right answer, but I am reading it and will keep you in my prayers hon.

Thanks folks for the feeback. I might add another factor why people don't go to therapy and I believe it is "PRIDE + Arrogance." I believe that people are just plain too proud to admit they have a problem…esp those with NPD. What do you think???

10:53 am
March 16, 2007


risingfromtheashes

st regis falls, ny

Member

posts 14

too proud

too ignorant

don't want to face it

can't understand it

6:09 pm
March 16, 2007


arlea

New Member

posts -1

Interesting thread and one I have not thought much about. Personally I have never attached a stigma to therapy and often more than not I attach a positive stigma to it. So here are some random ramblings… Some one who is willing to seek therapy indicates to me that they are in self inprovement mode. Maybe I have been lucky for the therapists I have seen have provided a great amount of input that I can hopefully use in my arsenal for my own needs. As to why some people refuse to go to therapy…. I can only guess. My first three would be that they are not ready to deal with their problems, don't feel that they have a problem, or feel that they are sooooo smart they don't need therapy. Of course there are many other considerations depending on your lifestyle, employment, socio-economic background etc.

Expanding a bit… if you are in a job where you are in control ie a military general and seeking counsil for low self esteem it might be a problem…

The last example is a stigma that one cannot afford in the situation.

Being a male I am biased… but often men are the ones who refuse therapy (they also won't stop for directions). On the same hand men are more likely to be scrutinized by a counscellor (sp). Several months ago my wife and I went for help and the first session was literally spent with me under cross examination regarding abusive behaviour. Once it was decided that I was "OK" we were able to work on our problems…. Hmmm why was her behaviour not scrutinized. Of course the obvious answer is that most times men are the abusers (I don't argue that at all).

People also have a reaction to labels… I know I do. Let's look at a new fad…. "my child is austic/hyperactive/insert your own", While in University in Human Biology I had the opportunity of working with a dr/professor/researcher of Autism and hyperactivity. Working with him for several months I once questioned the notion that I felt not all of the children had problems. His statment was that out of his research of 35 children only 2-5 were really in need of help. I of course asked him why were there 35 and his answer was "well someone has to pay for the program". Another comment he made was that most of the kids he treated he would have an easy prescription …. give the parents 2 asprin, a glass of wine and all would be ok.

Alot of the above paragraph also deals with family structure which our generation has lost…. I believe in times past we had extended families to help so we now have lost that. When my mother grew up and had children she had my grandmother to work out alot of these problems…. who do we have now adays…. social services.. (don't get me started). So Jo-Bob comes home from work and Mary-Sue is crying… "Little Bobby has been running all day long and I can't keep up… he must be hyperactive" Off to Doc Joe and Ritlin…….Kid is great… just sits and stares out the window all day what a relief….. Don't people realize kids are supposed to run around, explore….etc

Wow this has gotten so far off topic….. sorry for the rambling but I HAVE issues…lol

Have a great day folks……

6:10 pm
March 16, 2007


on my way

New Member

posts -1

could be for several reasons, but the main one thta comes to mind for me is that they do not want help or think that they need it.

9:13 pm
March 16, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

arlea~ I am grateful for a male feedback for this critical question. Honestly, in this day of liberty and freedom I believe men & women are alike. I have seen many women who refuse to go to therapy or even acknowledge that they have a problem…esp. if they happen to be NPD.

So we can Not generalize and say men are difficult to treat or convince to go to therapy. I agree with you with attaching positive connotation to someone who is going to therapy. This is how smart folks think. If only we could make other stubborn folks go the whole world would be another place.

Omw~ Thanks for your lovely article about HSP. Imagine if all those bullying bosses seeking or forced by the company's policy to seek therapy…our workplace would become a better place to live. I hope they would establish such things at workplace. I've really had so many sick bosses/supervisors & even co-workers throughout my life. So it's not only in our romantic life that we get sick people. It could be anywhere.

9:41 pm
March 16, 2007


jewel

New Member

posts -1

I didn't read all of the posts, but for a long time I didn't go to therapy because when I get there, they ask, how can I help you and I am like I don't know. Even when I do share my problems, they give me answers that I already know and just have a hard time applying. I am starting therapy I believe next week. I am just going to try it again. Maybe the last lady just didn't click with me. Very nice lady though. I think I am the only one who can help me. No one else can make me better. I think that is why people refuse therapy.

Jewel

10:04 pm
March 16, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

Jewel~ In your case…since you're planning to get married soon…premarital therapy is a MUST for you and your husband-to-be. No matter how MUCH you both love each other you really need it. Have you started that? Some churches offer this service for free. So take advantage!

All the best in your therapy, wedding and love life sweetie!!!

10:41 pm
March 16, 2007


_anonymous

Member

posts 8

1. Because they are not ready

2. They do not value therapy

3. They do not see a need to go

12:22 am
March 17, 2007


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Fear of change.

I heard an interesting story today. Some research was made with a rat and food. They put the food beyond an electric wire so the rat kept bumping into the wire and going back without getting the food. This happened a few times until the rat bumped very hard and got through the wire, reached for food and came back. Then they put the wire away from the food and the rat, that is, the rat could go get the food without going through the wire. However, the rat kept bumping into the wire, which was in the opposite direction of the food, hitting the wire and then going back in the opposite direction to get the food.

Sometimes we just get too accustomed with our familiar painful ways…

2:29 am
March 17, 2007


jewel

New Member

posts -1

I don't think that I need pre-marital counseling. Is that normal to do? We get along just fine. We both are a little insecure about certain things at times, but that is about it. I trust him. I am not afraid of him leaving me or anything like that.

Jewel

7:32 am
March 17, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

Destiny~Thanks for the input to which I agree!

Sinni~I agree! People are simply uncomfortable with change. In fact to so many Change is scary and goes against their nature. Thanks for this lovely funny experiment. It reminded me of Pavlov's experiment and that poor good who had been starved. When I studied Sociology and our teacher told us about it…I couldn't help but find it funny and laugh. My teacher would be surprised at my laughing. Sometimes people can't see humour in things.

Jewel~ Good luck in your marriage. As far as I know every couple planning to get married is ideally supposed to seek therapy.

9:08 am
March 17, 2007


bonni

New Member

posts -1

Jewel,
premarital counseling is a good idea for everyone. It may or may not bring up things you need to think about or talk about. If the counselor is the person performing your wedding, then its a time for him or her to get to know you. Either way, its a good use of time.

bonni

9:15 am
March 17, 2007


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

typo mistake….meant the esperiment about that Dog. Pavlov's theory. It always cracked me up!!!

12:06 pm
March 17, 2007


revelation

New Member

posts -1

Arlea…my sentiments exactly! Nice positive posts!!

There is a lot of negativity on this thread about therapy…and also a LOT of unfounded worries

Someone said "Afraid of being told the truth"….so, you believe a therapist, who doesn't KNOW you is going to be able to tell YOU the truth about YOU!!! Therapists are not psychics hun…the only person who knows the truth about you is YOU!

Guys, I think some of you need to go do some research and figure out what modern psychotherapy is all about…you all have some really incorrect ideas about it…

Oh and "Its really hard to find a good therapist" ???? Says who? All you have to do is make sure they are registered with the NACHP.

12:17 pm
March 17, 2007


thedogsmom

New Member

posts -1

I'm writing before reading anything but the question.

I think some for some (addicts) it's denial.
My reason is 1) IGNORANCE (I knew/know NOTHING about counseling)– and was always one who thought it was all "psychobabble" .I believed that all people needed to do was THINK postitive, go to the gym, quit complaining & whining and take action to make the changes to improve the situation. " Suck it up and be smart"-
you don't need therapy or prozac (drugs).
I was IGNORANT- like TOM CRUISE ;)
I was ignorant because I was fortunate and had NEVER experienced any real problems. I've changed my mind about many things with lives experiences.
TDM

2:36 pm
March 17, 2007


thedogsmom

New Member

posts -1

Ras

Besides being ignorant and thinking '
therapy' was for whiners and complainers..or "losers"

I NOW- haven't sought help for myself
because I don't want others to think of me that way! I don't want that 'green' slip in my medical chart stating that I have 'anxiety' or "panic attacks' or 'depression' or 'codependency-disease' i.e..
a 'mental disorder'.
I am afraid that IF I seek counseling for my codependency that my employers will think I am doing drugs since the program and paperwork is all signed
by the Drug Rehab crew. I am afraid that employers/coworkers will see all my problems and hold it against me.
AND
I fear that insurance companies will not want to insure me IF I ever need to change insurances due to my "mental health" issues.

So yes.. I think unfortunately- due to IGNORANCE that it is very much still a STIGMA.
TDM


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