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Why do men just give up?

UserPost

10:03 am
May 20, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Am I the only one who would do anything for their relationship, yet get stuck being the only one who wants it to go on? Why do men give up so easily? Why do they prefer to give up rather than hash it out?

3:49 pm
May 22, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Hi,

I've been following some of your other threads/posts, but this is my first response to any of them.

I feel that people — not necessarily *just* men — can be quick to give up
when they are no longer reaping the benefits of a comfortable situation. Have you ever heard of The Law of Diminishing Returns? It's when you continue to work for results — only over time — it seems the work is more plentiful than the rewards.

I think many times people want to just hang out on 'Easy Street.' They like the beginning of a relationship because it's new, fresh, exciting, stimulating — and it comes without much effort. Over time, when you really have to start digging to keep things interesting, exciting and fresh, it can take its toll. People who feel this way are often not involved in a relationship for the long haul. They show, through their actions (or lack thereof), that they are not capable of perseverence and commitment — for when that initial spark is gone, they actually have to compromise and put in some effort. And that's just too much for them to handle.

What do you think?

5:56 pm
May 22, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Mckenzie,

I totally agree with you. I think this is true both for men and women, and not only in romantic relationships. But it's more common in men than in women. It is more important for women to stay in the same relationship than it is for men.

6:27 pm
May 22, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

artist2, if u get some answer tell me. cause am wondering the same thing.

mckenzie, isnt that part of economics. i just learned that a while ago. isnt that when u start thinking u have too many workers and instead of helping is making the # of labor decrease?

i dont understand why guys give up so easily. its like they dont care, either way they'll survive.

7:23 pm
May 22, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

thats why they are called MEN…

ok sorry!

1:57 pm
May 23, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

I agree. The workforce may be made up of more men than women, but I think the women are the harder workers. And I always felt that a relationship, marriage, is like a job. You have to work hard to keep it going, and put in more than the required amount of effort. And Lisset hit the nail on the head, they know they'll survive. Women know that too, but they want more than just to survive. Well, I keep telling myself and others, if they give up, IT IS THEIR LOSS, not mine!!!

2:29 pm
May 23, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Wow you guys have really got some good ideas here, after a year of struggles and alot of communication and compromise with my boyfriend he wants to give it quits, I feel like we have been builiding a really solid strong foundation but I guess he seems to think that there is a better match out there for him, I feel like he hasn't given the relationship a full blooming chance. like I never got to meet his son ever or any of his friends or anything…I excused him and passed it of as a divorced guy being afraid to rush into another situation but really I know I am worth a closer look, I told him don't run away without opening the door to the unkown, yes it could be the worst thing to happen to you in your life or it could be the most wonderful thing and he said it was a chance he did not wish to take…..

4:59 pm
May 23, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Sorry to hear that, Claudia… I don't know if there is a better door waiting for someone like him out there, but there certainly is one for you !!! Since relationships are hard work, those who prefer to jump from one to another with only hope for good luck in the next match, won't have much success. You have what it takes, I wish you the man that you deserve !

Love,
Mafi

5:14 pm
May 23, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

thanks Mafi your words are comforting to my empty soul. Have a lovely weekend.

12:42 pm
May 24, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Hell its human nature not just for men but women too noone wants to have to work too hard not that it is the right thing to do but if whoever is not willing to put forth a little effort maybe you should consider is it worth waisting your time. Jene

12:25 pm
May 27, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

believe me I keep asking myslef if I haven't already put myslef thru enough hurt , but I guess I keep rationalizing that maybe it will be worth it in the long run, but maybe I am just fantasizing?

12:39 pm
May 27, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

I bekeive Mckenzie has something ther I got married the third time because I got caught up in the whole new, excitement,and 4 months later I realized and he realized we knew nothing about one another no more dancing to no music at all on the porch or taking walks down the beach or just looking at one another in that blissful way but paying bills eating different things enjoy different thermostat levels all the things we didnt know about one another were the things that killed our seemingly perfect love affair. Jene

12:57 pm
May 27, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

I guess what makes it hard is that we have the most compromising relationship…we know each other, we have never ever raised voices at each other, we are very similar we know each others likes and dislikes and he wants to throw it all away for something new and exciting but in case it doesn't work we can assume what we have???? : (

3:52 pm
May 27, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Thats so hard for me to understand or phathom I ran into an old co-worker the other day and she was telling me that her and her husband of ten or so years were seperating for what I perceived as just taking the easy way out on heer part where in a lot of situations it is the man he is changing and she says he is pursuing to try and rekindle and it is turning her off that is such bullshit to me everyone has ther quirks I say stay in it and tough it out especially if you have a history I pray he sees the light ..Prayers to you Jene

7:24 pm
May 27, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

I think there are alot of factors to consider with this question. #1 Women ususally do the distance to hold on to the nest, we are nesters, and there ya go.#2 Society has made it easy to move on. #3 Where are the examples of the fruit of your labors aren't 50% of us divorced ? #4 Look at the current work ethic for most men and women, most have gotten damn lazy, and looking for the most benefits.#5 How many women today for each woman, and it changes with age, but hell there are lots of fish in the sea, for them it seems.#6
Character, loyalty, truth, communication, trust, understanding, commitment, seem to be in short supply, as well as love cherish,honor respect, and Obey.

4:48 pm
May 28, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Those are good point Molly, I actually wrote a list of positive things about the relationship like
Respect
Trust
Companionship
Communication
Compromise
Understanding and some others I read the list to him and he said it sounded like a good relationship and I asked if he thought we had all that and he said we did, I asked him why then should we take a break and he said because this person might be a better match but I guess time will tell whether I can deal with it for a month?


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