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Why do I hold on to bad relationships?

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11:00 am
August 12, 2009


New Member

posts -1

It's amazing to me that at 41 I can't seem to find myself in healthy relationships. I got married as a teen to a man that did nothing but belittle me and verbally abuse me. Since then I tend to find myself with one issue riddled man after another. What the heck is wrong with me? I keep telling myself that I am looking for a healthy adult relationship, but those men when I find them seem boring. I seek out the ones that drink, live life on the edge and have a crap load of issues. I know that I deserve better but apparently I don't "know" it because I can't seem to get myself there. I realize that I'm a mess and I need to turn these destructive behaviors around because they are destructive.

11:10 am
August 12, 2009


New Member

posts -1

Tell me about it!I'm 58 and still haven't come up with the answer.I thought I had a "normal" man.And I was complaining he was boring!Now he's turned out a "sulker"…When my ex used to "sulk"I always used to think.I've done something "wrong"Let's try and guess what it is and try to put it right!U know what it is.We are strong and that's why these weak men latch on to us and they come in all different guises.When they think they've "got"us.They then put us down to make themselves feel stonger or whatever.I haven't got a clue and I'm sick of analysing it!..I'm getting myself my own place and all these men can go take a jump in the lake!!..Hope I have been some help.It just makes me so angry all these so called men out there messing women up…Maybe just to know that you are not alone,I hope can make you feel better.

11:25 am
August 12, 2009


New Member

posts -1

it seems to me that you need to better yourself and fix the issues with yourself before you will ever truley know what you want. i am working hard on that myself and it is no easy task. but if you can make yourself happy with you then you will start to see clearer and know abit more about what you want in a man.

11:39 am
August 12, 2009


New Member

posts -1

I want to add to that that all people have issues and bad habits. I think the question is how much awareness we really have of our bad habits and issues. When our attention is drawn to them, we can do something about them. And then the question is what can we do? What will it take? But I find the trick is not to be hard on ourselves or indulge ourselves – to find the right balance. You have to make friends with yourself and all your faults. Maybe the guys you're describing can do this, too, if they just thought about how. What about communication? Do you communicate with your partner? Can he communicate? That's important.

11:45 am
August 12, 2009



posts 100

low self esteem, maybe we feel we deserve these guys…maybe afraid of being alone, maybe hoping these guys will change. So many possibilities, just know you are not alone.

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