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Why can't/won't take care of myself??

UserPost

5:35 am
December 7, 2005


cpt1212

New Member

posts -1

Anybody else have or had this prob?

6:47 am
December 7, 2005


chloeysmomma

New Member

posts -1

me

9:14 am
December 7, 2005


addicts wife

New Member

posts -1

cpt1212,
I think its a process, after realizing you need to care for yourself, and haven't bee ndoing so well at it, you may find yourself sorting out all the things,Like why not? what's preventing you from____, what do I need t odo to care for me?? what is it that I'm lacking?? etc.
And for me, in my experiences with caring for myself… It seems that once I get into a good healthy routine and have sorted "it" all out… If one more thing gets added to the list… I can be easily knocked off track.
((Guess I stil need work on time mangaement, and organization!!))

i don't know if any of this helpful at all…hope so!!
just know youre not alone!!!!!!!!
~AW

9:37 am
December 7, 2005


Sophie3012

New Member

posts -1

I know the feeling in some shape or form why won't I do this for myself why do I have to think about all the negatives to what it is I actually want. It's hard and I know in myself something has got to change for my benefit. Hope it gets better soon.

9:42 am
December 7, 2005


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

cpt –

I know that I am having a hard time with it – it is Sooooooo much work. And it's intimidating.

I know I would go to the ends of the earth and devote all my time and energy to someone else – but for myself – nope, won't do it.

I'm lazy, bottom line. I lack discipline.

But also, it is a symptom of depression. And depression is anger turned inward.

So take a look at what you may be angry at yourself for – work on feeling better about yourself – loving yourself. Then you may be able to take better care of yourself. And if the depression is bad, talk to a doc about depression meds for short term, until you are out of the funk…and if you are on them – talk to doc about dosage or changing if they aren't working.

1:14 pm
December 7, 2005


healinginprogress

New Member

posts -1

It is hard to focus on yourself when have spent entire life meeting the needs of others at the expense of your own needs being met. I found that when I was reading a book called facing codependency by Pia Melody that I have great difficult even in knowing what my needs are, had sometimes trouble even figuring out when someone was abusive emotionally towards me as grew up with all kinds of trauma and therefore became quite desensitized and more tolerant of others bad behaviours, so now I have to be very careful with my own boundaries and what I'm willing to accept from others and it has helped me to take better care of me but it remains a constant battle which I'm hoping comes easier with time.. until then I keep praying for guidance from HP

4:36 pm
December 7, 2005


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

I think it could be several factors CP. It could be laziness, procrasitination, anger, looking for quick fix, feeling crazy or different from others may set you off. Also not many people will share your enthusiasm about your healing; in fact many people might discourage you if you mention to them that you're in healing or working on your own self-improvement and growth. Some people even think that these things are unrealizeable and unachievable.

Also, I believe this healing process is overwhelming and let's not forget that it's lifetime process, and can be quite slow sometimes. In some other areas it could be fairly quick or even instantaneous. That's why many people give up, coz they are unable to wait and lack patience!

These pessimistic people should be avoided.

The best thing that motivates us is to surround ourselves with enthusaistic friends, go to healing programs like Coda, 12 steps, Al Anon, buy and read self-help books and reward ourselves on every progress we make and have accountable friends who will tell us the truth about ourselves.

I also noticed that many people are too proud to open up, admit or seek help. Men seem to be a big number who lie in this category. They think that it will make them look less of a man.

~Ras~

5:34 pm
December 7, 2005


tracylyn

New Member

posts -1

I know for me, I had such a hard time taking care of me because I felt guilty. It was embedded somewhere inside me that I had to take care of everyone else. I had to fulfill their needs, their requests, hell even if they didn't express needs I anticipated it for them. I felt guilty if I ever put myself and my own wants or needs above anyone else's. I thought it was selfish of me.

A lot of times too we don't even know what that means and then, when we figure out what it means we don't know what it is we need.

Sometimes it takes becoming selfish. It sounds weird but seriously try to think of it in those terms. Be selfish. Ask for what you need. Be good to yourself. Take time for yourself. Spend quality time with you. Respond to your gut instincts when it tells you that you need to rest or need to be careful or need to not think for a while.

Take baby steps. It's not easy when for years we've been programmed to neglect what we need in order to please everyone else.

t

6:01 pm
December 7, 2005


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Hi cpt,

Sometimes, we don't take care of ourselves for the classic codependence reason…

Because we're waiting for someone else to do it.


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