Hell, sometimes when it rains….it just fucking pours!!!!!
Between your work, child support issues, lump in your body and the guy that wimped out on you – no damn wonder you are feeling stressed.
First things first. Time to set priorities: You need food, clothing and shelter – so work takes priority in order for you to maintain these essentials for yourself.
You said that you are treading on thin ice at your workplace – do you have any vacation time built up so that you can take that time now to "re-group?"
If not, maybe explain to your supervisor what all is going on and ask for some leadway – even supervisors are human and understand periodic problems in our lives – if self-employed, perhaps look at temporary options available to keep your business afloat.
I say, go for the anti-depressants temporaily to get you over this hump – or "trial" as you put it. (Great wording – by the way.)
Just TRY not to get over-whelmed – because – if you are like me – you would have a tendency to just shut down completely like an electrical breaker switch that has been over-loaded.
Deep breath. First things first.
Make a list or plan of action and tackle one thing at a time would be my advice…and seek support from folks that you can trust. Makes it 10 times more difficult to go through these things alone.
I do not honestly think that you are doing anything wrong in your life as the title of your post suggest….God – do you really want to add unsubstantiated guilt to all of this on your plate as well????????
Just hang in there best you can and know that the tides will turn…..have to – just the way it works.
Be gentle with yourself through these multitude of trials right now and you'll come out the other end – I know you will!