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Simply will NOT return calls. Is this normal?
November 12, 2004
5:38 pm
davydavy
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Hi. My girlfriend and I broke up about 7 weeks ago. She had lots of trust issues and I made it even worse by lying to her --mainly to avoid getting into trouble for things she would have tried and convicted me over that were actually pretty innocent. Ofcourse, I know there's no excuse for lying. Right now, we're supposedly in the "space and time for her to think things over" phase ---which we've been in for approx. 3 weeks --ever since we talked it out and I confessed every lie I could think of. She's told me several times that she's still thinking and she's always been very truthful, so I assume she is doing just that. Anyway, my question is that she almost never will return my calls. And I do not even call very often. Today I called and left a message simply asking her to let me know if she was headed to the town she lives in (where I did live for the last four yrs) because my storage unit bill is do and maybe she'd drop it off. Ofcourse, if she couldn't --that's fine, I would just drive down there myself. Either way, all I'm asking for is A RETURN CALL! And ofcourse, nothing. That just seems so rude to me. I would return her call even if I couldn't or didn't want to drop off the payment. Anyway,why is this lady ADAMANT seemingly about not returning calls? She's very nice to me when I run into her or when I talk to her. But she just won't return my calls for nothing.

November 12, 2004
5:47 pm
november
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this is something i have experienced in previous relationships and it will send me through the roof. but to me no it isn't normal and the reason it was done to me i believe is they were avoiding me of course, didn't want to face what was going on. or they just didn't care. i couldn't tell you what your situation is, she may just don't realize what she is doing, i guess i would mention it to her and see what kind of response you get. good luck.

November 12, 2004
5:49 pm
Anonymous
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Sometimes when people don't return your call it's just a rude awakening to what they are capable of. I do know that when I get busy it takes me days to return my friends calls, and these are good friends. If she owes you money that is a different story, I mean does she owe you money?

November 12, 2004
6:28 pm
i_think_im_ready
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well, what was it that you *lied* about?

November 12, 2004
6:54 pm
brendalee
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Absence of phone calls is politely establishing boundaries where none existed before. (think about it.)

November 18, 2004
12:47 am
seanymph
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From my experience when a person doesn't return a phone call they are simply trying to avoid you or giving you a hint that the relationship is over its a cruel thing to do and I believe its the act of a coward I believe in being upfront with a person and telling them how you feel and being completetly honest instead of ducking calls.I dated a guy who was wonderful in the beginning and he ended it through an emailhe simply said I am not interested , what a spineless man.I am so happy I stumbled upon this site I needed a place to vent cause I have been so unhappy lately and this is very helpful.

November 20, 2004
9:06 am
suckernomore
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He's the one with the issues and you don't need someone in your life like that. Trust me on that one.
My ex g/f just recently pulled the same thing on me and it was a wake up call. Made me see her through a different light and helped me detach and let go.
I thought she was a true friend and loved me, that's what she had told me, but her avoidance of me showed me how she truly feels.

November 20, 2004
9:16 am
readyforachange
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September 27, 2010
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I totally agree with both of you. Someone who cannot deal honestly with another person doesn't deserve your time. Good riddance. I think it is immature - I remember people in high school who wouldn't talk to you when they got mad, and you never knew why because they weren't mature enough to tell you. So annoying. Cut your losses...you're better off.

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