September 24, 2010
first off im really sorry this is so long but i really need some advice and its kind of a long story.so here it goes...
i met this guy the beginning of my junior year of high school. We fell head over heals in love with eachother and it was just the most amazing thing. We spent every moment together that we could for nearly two years. But last August I went off to college about an hour and a half away. He still had to finish up his senior year of high school. We were so in love and thought it was go last forever. We broke up for about a month in november but realized that that wasnt right. We got back together but we broke up again in Feburary of this year. The distance was just really hard on us, because we were used to see eachother every day. And we both had never really dated anyone else. He started going out with another girl. It was hard but after awhile i thought i was over him. At least the best i could be and i thought i could move on. We still talked. And when i got home for the summer we hung out every once in awhile. He broke up with his girlfriend a couple weeks after i was home. and i realized that i wasnt over him and still loved him very much. I thought we were gonna get a chance to take things slow and maybe get back together. But he started dating someone else. We still hang out quite a bit. I want to tell him how i feel, that i still love him. It almost hurts too much to see him. I wont go into detail but he dissapoints me alot not big things just little things that mean a lot to me because i still love him. he does these little things that make me think he still loves me too but i dont think he does. he sends me mixed signals and i dont know if i see things that make me think he still loves me because i want to see them. He forgot my birthday. Not because he doesnt care just because hes too busy. He said he feels bad and hes going to make it up too me. It just really hurt because he is the one person i care about most. i just want to be the most important person in his life again and it hurts soo bad that im not. i want to tell him that we cant be friends cause it hurts me too much to see him when i cant hold him or kiss him or be with him. but i dont want to lose him because it means a lot to me to have him as a friend, because he is my best friend. I want to know how he feels about me but i dont want to ask him becaue i dont want to make things awkward or weird. should i tell him that i still love him soo much even though hes with another girl? Can we be friends even though i want more and it hurts so much to see him? should i ask him how he feels about me? im afraid to. should i tell him that i cant see him because i cant have him and it hurts too bad. i tell my self that i shouldnt think about it so much but its hard. i mean he chose to go to the same college as me. so maybe i shouldnt do anything. just let things happen as they will and stay friends with him and keep hanging out.
i dont know what to do. im sorry if i jumped around a lot im just really confused and hurting right now.
thanks a lot for any advice. i appriciate all the help i can get.
I don't think you can be friends (right away) with an ex when you still have strong feelings for him. Especially when he doesn't return those loving feelings. I have tried it and every time I saw him, it was like pouring salt into an open wound! It hurt too much.
I think you should be honest with him. It seems like he wants to keep you hanging on a string, just in case he wants you back. It's not fair. It's manipulative and cruel!!
I don't want to tell you what to do but I would try and stay away from him for a while... until my heart has healed and I am HONESTLY ready to be just friends (without having the HOPE that we could be more).
It is hard, I know but... Do you want to keep feeling the way you do right now???
September 30, 2010
Lucy, I think you should step back at least long enough for you to go through the full range of emotions that may be coming up...you may find yourself angry, remorsefull, in denial...losing a relationship is always a sort of mourning proccess, and you never know what will come with it. I hope you will stand back a moment and let yourself adjust to these changes. Also, it seems to me that he is not able to give you the sort of commitment from you you seem to want, he sounds a bit young and romantically restless. And there is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't appear to be for YOU.
September 24, 2010
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