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Sex After Divorce?? Scared!

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6:31 pm
January 11, 2006


New Member

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I have a question.. Those of you have been married or with the same partner for over 12 yrs or more then seperate.. How soon after that person did you become sexually involved with someone else? Was it uncomfortable? Did it turn into or was it a relationship or just a one time thing? Did you feel like you were doing something wrong? You get into a routine and used to that one person and they know your flaws.. you grow up with that person sexually along with mentally etc… Is it just as scary as the first time ever or does it just come second nature so to speak?

6:43 pm
January 11, 2006


New Member

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hi there, I have been married & divorced twice. The first time I had sex after my first marriage was very hard for me. I can reflect now that (a) I wasn't ready and (b) I wasn't comfortable enough with the new lover. My own experience tells me that you should never under any circumstances sleep with someone until YOU are ready and YOU are comfortable. If the person you are with doesn't respect that then they don't respect you either.

7:43 pm
January 11, 2006


New Member

posts -1


I was married for nearly 20 years. Sex after divorce, I can't even get to the dating thing. I haven't been on a date for 20 years. Haven't had sex with anyone but my x for over 20 years. Whole thing just terrifies me. I have been separated for 11 months. Give me another 11 years and I might get to it.

9:38 am
January 12, 2006


New Member

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I guess I just am uncomfortable with myself. I feel like I will be judged if i am a little overweight or not sexual enough for that person. maybe insecureties?

12:32 pm
January 12, 2006


New Member

posts -1

aahh, insecurities – yes they do make new relationships tough don't they? Sounds like you have body image issues? I can relate to that too – this is about learning to accept and love yourself no matter what shape you are. If you want to get in shape then go ahead! If on the other hand your motivation for losing weight comes from what others will think of you then you're with the wrong person. Someone who truly cares about you will not care what shape you are. As for not being sexual enough? What is enough?! You are already judging yourself!! Tread lightly, baby steps, acceptance. I send you strength

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