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9:47 am October 20, 2011
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Hey folks just wanted to say goodbye. I'm leaving the site. Truly appreciate all the support I have rcvd through the years: Ma, Bitsy, Curious, Free, Haythere – all. If anyone feels like staying in touch with me off the site send me a private msg.
All my best to everyone. Never give up hope.
Lots of love, TroubledNM
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6:31 pm October 20, 2011
| curious64
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| Member | posts 408 | |
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I am so happy that you are doing well enough to feel like leaving the site. However, I would encourage you to stop in from time to time and see if there is a hurting person here that you could be a help to. You have come through a lot of stuff and yoru experience could be very valuable to another person who is suffering.
Best of luck. You are an inspiration. ((((((HUGS))))))
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7:21 pm October 20, 2011
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Curious – i'm not leaving because I feel like i'm doing well enough. I am doing well but there are other reasons. dont want anyone to get the wrong impression. You keep fighting. you know where I am if you need me. I'm here for you. I'm leaving the site not you.
Love ya girl, Tnm
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7:04 pm October 21, 2011
| haythere
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| Member | posts 107 | |
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Sorry to see you go, but do what you need to do. You have my email. I admire where you have been and how far you have come. All my best to you. ((((((hugs))))))
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10:47 pm October 23, 2011
| ShiningLight
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TNM,
We hate to see you go but it's your decision that matters the most. On behalf of AAC, we would like to thank you for your contribution in the forum. We are glad and proud that once we had a member like you. You never gave up and you have proved that life is wonderful and worth keeping for despite of the trials you've been through.
Wishing you the best of everything and we will surely miss you. Take Care!
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5:34 am October 24, 2011
| OneFoot
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| Member | posts 18 | |
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Robbie, its hard to see you go, but I respect your decision. Wherever you go and whatever you do, keep on being the amazing woman you are.
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2:06 pm October 24, 2011
| Quote Unquote
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| Member | posts 199 | |
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1:47 pm February 2, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Post edited 1:51 pm – February 2, 2012 by TroubledXYZ
its been awhile since I have posted here. I wonder if anyone I know is still around. I wanted to bring along some hope. I have had some pretty serious issues in my life and I am going on my second year of therapy. I am doing extremely well and leading a pretty normal life now.
My therapist and I wrote to Dr.Feldman to tell him about my progress and he asked if I would participate in a documentary about MBI. I have agreed and have been doing some interviews with the producer over email. We will have a chat on the 22nd and then the radio interview on the 29th. I will also be writing an article for a medical journal and a book about my life with mental illnesses.
I continue to play clarinet in the wind symphony and clarinet ensemble and even have my own little student now. I'm working hard acquiring more students and may be running a music class at the local tech school in the fall.
I have a full plate. I live life to the fullest every day!
I am no longer depressed. my anxieties have pretty much disappeard. Not much rattles me anymore. I am full of determination and ambition to have a happy, healthy life.
There IS HOPE for recovery. 
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7:59 am February 3, 2012
| curious64
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| Member | posts 408 | |
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That is such Awesome news!!!! It is so kind of you to stop in and encourage those who are still suffering. Keep up the good work and keep everyone posted as the new exciting things happen for you. You are a true inspiration.
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10:09 am February 8, 2012
| miaIseeYou
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| Member | posts 87 | |
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Fantastic! Puhleez come back and let us know when the documentary aires so we can all watch it and learn more about what you have been through. Your news is very encouraging.
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11:51 am February 8, 2012
| free
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| Member | posts 348 | |
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Hey curious and troubled!
Glad to "see" you and glad to hear things are going well for you.
free
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5:03 am February 9, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Hi (((Free))) yes, things are going terrific. Had a tough therapy session last night and cried a lot – but somehow it was good too. I read to my therapist what me and the producer have been corresponding to each other and some of it is pretty tough stuff you know – so i was worried it might change how my therapist feels about me. So when I was done I asked her – I hope your view of me hasnt changed – she teared up and said, "it just makes me admire you even more" my jaw dropped, then my tears came too.
I will soon be starting research and writing for my book. My therapist will be the first to read it. Lots of work to do.
So how have YOU been?
Mia – it is a radio documentary. The interview takes place on the 29th – I dont know yet when it will air.
I'll be popping in every so often if theres someone around to talk to….
Take Care, Tnm
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8:09 am February 9, 2012
| miaIseeYou
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Cool update. Very cool. Like I said be sure and come back and tell us when this will be on TV so I can watch it. Look forward to that and reading your new book.
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8:14 am February 9, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Radio – its a Radio Documentary. not TV. it will be on BBC radio.
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8:16 am February 9, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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book will be a long time from now….just just starting it.
Mia – did we meet before? are you familiar with my story?
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10:49 am February 9, 2012
| miaIseeYou
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| Member | posts 87 | |
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I appreciate the update. BBC is a big radio station right? I have heard of it before. Books do take time to write and will keep you busy for a while. I have read bits and pieces of your story. Can't say I am that familiar with it. No we have never met.
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2:25 pm February 9, 2012
| StronginHim77
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| Member | posts 453 | |
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Mia –
Robbie (TroubledXYZ) has been honest with us about her mental health difficulties which include Borderline Personality Disorder (for which she has been in therapy for some time), as well as the "computer" equivalent of Munchausen's (in which the individual lies/projects a false personna online, in order to garner attention and/or sympathy from internet strangers).
- Ma
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2:58 pm February 9, 2012
| miaIseeYou
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Thanks for the insight Ma. I had read some of troubleds posts here and there and never did know what exactly what the cause was of all of the problems. Robbie is now claiming to have multiple personality disorders. Is this true?
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3:21 pm February 9, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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Post edited 3:28 pm – February 9, 2012 by TroubledXYZ
EXCUSE ME??? CLAIMING TO HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER? WHERE DO YOU SEE THAT??????
i HAD MBI – Munchausen By Internet a form of Munchausens and I AM RECOVERED and that is what the documentatry is about. Its to give others hope for recovery. would you like a statement from my therapist, from Dr. Feldman or the producer? I didnt come here to start trouble I came here to bring hope.
Ma – you just cant stand that I am well and happy now. you were hurt by me and you hate me now. you said you would forgive me but you never have. you just cant bring yourself to rejoice in my recovery.
Yes – I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
yes – I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)
yes – I HAD MBI (Munchausens and Munchausens by Internet)
Yes – I have CAPD
and anxiety and depression
things I have just about overcome. the reason my therapist admires me is because I OWED UP TO EVERYTHING I have done. I'm sharing it with others. I'm taking a risk to help other MBI Patients.
What more can I say. ? I did not come here for ATTENTION. I did not come here to start trouble. I came to bring hope. If you cant support and celebrate recovery with me get the hell off my thread!!!!!!!!!
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3:42 pm February 9, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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my therapist warned me that there would be nasty comments if i went through with this.
i am prepared for that if what i'm doing will help others.
but I didnt think i would get it here on a support website.
maybe you dont BELIEVEEEE i'm actually going to do a documentary and write a book. If so,
thats YOUR problem.
I dont take crap from anyone anymore. I dont have to stay here and try to bring others hope.
its actually pretty stupid to be this upset over it.
i see i am not welcome here even if Im here to talk about recovery and not what a god awful time i am having.
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6:44 pm February 9, 2012
| miaIseeYou
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TroubledXYZ you said you had MBI and I thought it meant multiple personality disorders because I have never heard of MBI. Sorry, I am not a psychiatrist and have no idea what any of this stuff means. If your therapist warned you about something then maybe you should heed to his warning. You started this thread a while back to say good bye to this site. Just cause you're done with this site doesn't mean you have to try to take the rest of the people who choose to be here down with you. You said you don't have to take crap from anyone anymore WELL we don't have to take any more crap from you either!
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9:57 pm February 9, 2012
| free
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| Member | posts 348 | |
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Hey Troubled It's good to see you back. Takes alot of guts to attempt making amends, and I admire you for that. You can only do what you can do girlfriend, the rest isn't in your hands.
free
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5:23 am February 10, 2012
| TroubledXYZ
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| Member | posts 267 | |
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9:41 am February 10, 2012
| StronginHim77
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| Member | posts 453 | |
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| Subject: |
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TroubledXYZ |
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StronginHim77 |
Ma, Thank you for your forgiveness. I am truly grateful that you found it in your heart to do so. If I knew how to post my reply to you on my thread(s) I would do so, but I dont know how. (i think you might know). Therefore, I am giving you permission to post it for all to see. I feel so scared and ashamed. I dont know if I can face anybody again but its time to do the right thing. If no one will talk to me again because of it, its my own fault. Perhaps you will still talk to me.
As you can read from your own posting to me last year, Robbie, you gave me permission to openly post your mental health issues which had caused such turmoil on this Site. I did not violate any confidence. You GAVE ME PERMISSION, as (presumably) part of your healing process. I am, therefore, somewhat nonplussed by your attack (although I understand this is the essence of BPD behavior for which you are still in treatment.)
- Ma
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9:44 am February 10, 2012
| StronginHim77
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| Member | posts 453 | |
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Dear Ma Strong
At the risk of losing the only place I have for support I'm going to answer your question. Admitting that I am Robbie is not an easy thing. And losing the minimal but only support I have here isnt easy either. But yes, I am Robbie.
Robbie has Munchausen by Internet Disorder. I know that must sound like a silly term, but its real and I have it. In all the time I posted as Robbie, that disorder never reared its ugly head. That was years of control. But last winter something happened. Something inside me went haywire (perhaps caused by all these medictions they had me on) and I posted that Robbie was ill. A couple weeks later I regretted it. I had to stop before it got out of hand and I did. But it was too hard to come clean. How could I hurt the people who were helping me? And I am so sorry I hurt you like that. And I am sorry I hurt Bitsy too. Will you please forgive me? I didnt do it to purposely hurt. I know this sounds like an excuse but my emotional instability got out of whack and it caused this dysfunctional behavior.
I still needed support from AAC and with people coming in with different nicknames I thought I could too. Its been hard to try and get support as this new person because I cant always fully explain things so I wouldnt sound like Robbie. But you knew me too well. Curious has really helped me and I dont want to lose that support. I have been nothing but honest with her and I am grateful she has been there for me. I guess Ive dug my own grave, huh? I'm sure you will tell her and she will no longer talk to me.
I lost my last therapist because she wouldnt work with me while I was so unstable. That was a mistake and what brought on everything getting out of hand. For awhile I had no therapist. Now I'm going to lose the support I have here too. I have noone else but my current therapist for support with my psychological issues. But in the end, telling the truth is the right thing to do. The best thing to do. I sincerely apologize.
Ma, its taken me a lot of courage this morning to tell you the truth. And hitting the reply button is scary. I deeply regret the hurt I have caused you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me?
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