You must be logged in to post Login Register


Register? | Lost Your Password?

Search Forums:


 






Wildcard Usage:
*    matches any number of characters
%    matches exactly one character

PTSD from living in an abusive relationship?

UserPost

11:15 am
March 21, 2006


lightchaser

New Member

posts -1

IS it possible to experience post-tramatic stress from living with an alcoholic who was verbally and emotionally abusive? When the phone rings, I panic. I live in an apartment now and when someone walks downthe hall I have to catch my breath and calm myself. When my friends talk on the phone to their spouses My heart pounds. I am afraid for them even though there is no reason to be. My friends husband asked her, "when will you be home" and I was so worried. To me that was an accusation. Here she is smiling into the phone. No problem. It's so hard to realize other peoples relayionships don't work the way mine did. Anyways, has anyone experienced this panic feeling as the get accustomed to a new life? Is this normal?

11:59 am
March 21, 2006


whidbey

New Member

posts -1

Lightchaser,

YES, it is very normal to have PTSD after an abusive relationship. While in the relationship, your body and mind were constantly tuned into the "fight or flight" mode of being. You were literally in a battlefield for your life and sanity. Any sustained behavior, i.e. depression, fear, whatever, will become the "norm" after a while. Your body chemicals actually adjust and stay wired that way until the threat is gone long enough, as well as you having gotten some good therapy to retrain your way of thinking or are able to retrain your thinking yourself. After break-up with ex-NPD guy, for three months I had constant adrenaline rushes, jumped every time the phone rang (not jumped to answer it, but literally jumped out of fear), slept poorly, had bad dreams, didn't want to leave my house, etc.

If this doesn't go away after a month or so, please do try and get some help with a counselor. He/she can help you begin the healing process to a fear-free life again.

2:14 am
March 28, 2006


Cinamac

New Member

posts -1

Yes, Post Traumatic Stress is very real and can happen after trauma. Panic attacks are a real sign of this. Seeing a counsellor who speciallizes in trauma, like EMDR is really good. My children suffered trauma and their therapist really helped.

There are all sorts of triggers. What you are explaining are triggers. There will be more, so if you panic attack for no apparent reason, you may want to write it down for later reference. Sometimes smells, sounds, music, phrases can be triggers to the trauma, as they are reminders to stuff we are trying to repress.

A dear friend of mine has PTSD and didn;t know she had it for 40 years. She was afraid of doctors becasue of early hosptitalization as a child- the separation from her family, the pain of numerous operations, the cold sterile environment, the abuse that may have happened made her fearful of doctors, dentists, anything to do with physical care. It is amazing what pyschiatrists, counsellors and medication can do.

The good news is that it is very treatable, as Whidbey said…

I did feel much panic after starting my new life, probably becasue I had walked on egg shells for so long, I was so hypersenitive…I was always on alert. I started with daily, then biweekly, then did weekly counselling, just becasue I was so frieked out. But over the time, the symptoms subsided.

Way to go for knowing yourself and reaching out….

All the best

Cinamac

2:42 am
March 28, 2006


mamacinnamon

New Member

posts -1

Yes, PTSD can be caused from living w/ an alcoholic or from living in any bad relationship or from any type trauma. I have it. Widbey described it very well. The constant "fight or flight" mode. The unexplained panic attacks if you have supressed things. The lady Cinamac talked about not knowing for 40 years. All very real.

A lot of times the symptoms do to appear until you are away from the abuse for a few months. When things finally calm down and your brain or body do not know how to react. For me, I had been in this mode for 12 years so when it finally calmed down my body freaked and I developed stress related illnesses. I have been divorced now for 15 years, but only able to get away from him the last 3-4 since we had children. I can still have nightmares when I've talked about the past much. I still can freak if I don't catch myself if someone touches my neck. I don't suppose those will ever go away, but I have learned to deal w/ them.

If you are having these panic attacks or are noticing things like the jumpiness or jitters then you might want to consult a doc or a counselor to learn effective ways of dealing w/ this. Don't let it go so long that you develop stress related illnesses or disease.

4:18 am
March 28, 2006


gettingthere

New Member

posts -1

HI i to can relate to this not going to much into my past but yer i was in a couple of abusive relationships often wondered how i got by without to much depression but boy did it hit me when my last relationship was over.i fell into deep depression,and still suffer now,
also i get extremly frightend when seeing anything violent,when doors bang ,things have got better recently it has took me a long time to start feelin safe again my ex partner left 5years ago,i have had therapy in my opinion i would recommend to have some….GT

11:56 am
March 28, 2006


exoticflower

New Member

posts -1

I have PTSD, and as I have had it explained to me-as mentioned above-is that flight or fight instinct that living in limbo and on eggshells creates takes a LONG time to work out of. When your own home and mind are not safe, how can you trust ANYTHING enough to feel safe? It's an unfortunate thing, it truly is. For myself, I resent it a lot- I resent always watching what I say to see that it is safe and can't be controted, I resent taking notes on my day to day life so no one can tell me my recolections are inaccurate or make me believe I am crazy (as though most normal people would ever want to do that to a human being who trusts them?!). mostly I resent that an abuser is the one that is sick but I am the one who has to heal and get better. I'm so sorry for you, and I know it is hard to believe that it gets better, but it does, worlds better. I recognized the abuse almost exactly a year ago and started working free from it within myself . Now I can interact with my abuser and recognizze him as being unwell and actively and conciously refuse abusive treatment. And it feels amazing.

9:46 pm
March 28, 2006


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Hey Cinamac

I was diagnosed with PTSD after getting out of an abusive relationship. Also, stress levels like the ones I lived in can cause your blood sugar to go up, in my case it took several months after getting out for all these symptoms to manifest themselves.

Polly

6:12 am
March 29, 2006


Worried_Dad

Member

posts 41

lightchaser,

Actually, yes, it is possible. Not only possible but probable.

And no, it is not neccessary to be beaten in order to develop PTSD.

Really, it's not. I suggest that you go with your gut on this one. If you have been abused by someone you loved, you will have been traumatized. Ad that can really impact your health.

7:42 pm
March 29, 2006


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

I suffer a lot from PTSD. In fact, almost everywhere I go, I have someone who resents me. It seems that this problem clings to abused people. I honestly do have paranoia every time someone abuses/mistreats me be it workplace or neigborhood…etc.

I also come from abusive family and I would say that to have PTSD is quite normal. I do not know tho how to heal them. I think the best way is to educate the people around you about your situation so that they are aware that you are not crazy or these things are "in your head.

Could someone please explain to me about "Fight or Flight" what it means. Does it mean that we the abused either fight the abuser of fly away from him/her?

~Ras~

8:41 pm
March 29, 2006


mamacinnamon

New Member

posts -1

I will try….

"Fight ro Flight"

It was explained to me like this: It was likened to a soldier in a war. While he is in war his brain (the basal ganglia part) is always on alert. He is in constant danger of bein killed so his basal ganglia part of his brain is over active and on alert, watching everywhere, fear. This is called "fight and fright".

When the soldier finally gets to come home from the war the basal ganglia part of his brain is still on alert mode. It has been on alert mode for so long that it doesn't know how to relax. It is still on alert, watchin, fear.

The basal ganglia part of your brain is the part that controls anxiety, panic, conflict avoidance, tremors, fear.

Make sense?

8:59 pm
March 29, 2006


Rasputin

New Member

posts 0

(((MamaC))) Thanks honey. I thought so.

In other terms it is the Over-vigilance or over-caution of someone or something esp when we are scared or threatened by a potential danger.

2:39 am
March 31, 2006


Cinamac

New Member

posts -1

My understanding is that the fight or flight goes off the scale when something happens that resembles the abuse. To the point where the person has panic attacks, goes into violent rages, runs off, etc.

I work with students that have PSTD and it took awhile to figure out what was triggering the intense "fight or flight" with one student. He would get so upset, he would just take off, or hide in the reading corner, or totally flip out. Of course it took awhile to figure it out, and I worked with the psychiatrist to finally figure it out that if I had coffee brewing in my room, it set him off. The psychiatrist was able to make the link as his abuser was a coffee drinker and when the student smelled the coffee, and because he repressed the abuse, he became unwound. Needless to say, we stopped brewing coffee.

There are all sorts of smells, sights, sounds…like someone said, sounds…like slamming doors, certain times of the day, phrases, songs, smells that can trigger anxity attacks…becasue literally, you feel like you are in a life or death situation. This is why working with a pyschiatrist is so important as to get to the root of the anxiety. And you can learn to normalize the triggers.
Medication may be necessary.

As my friend with the PSTD, she did not know she had it, but would get panic attacks in the most irregular places. Like a parking garage, dentist office, medical appointment. She would try to force herself but would become so unwound that she just didn't go. We went to a spa once, and everyone was in white lab coats, and she had a panic attack… She ended up drinking to self medicate becasue she got in a lot of pain not attending to many symptoms (sore back, etc) Finally she got so sick she had to go to the doctor and it was unravelled and explained that she had been traumatized as a child by numerous surgeries and abusive treatment at a hospital and as a result, she had PTSD. If the triggers weren't present, she was fine. She was absolutely not aware between the connection of her trauma as a child and the panic attacks and aversion to hospitals, etc. She thought her childhod was fine.

Often people are not even aware they are being abused. They are shocked to find out that they are half the time. Sometimes it is not until a long time later, after an illness, an addiction, panic attacks, happen that people start putting the pieces of their own puzzle together.

Cinamac

4:59 pm
March 31, 2006


columbia

New Member

posts -1

I'm back after a long absence. Your thread is just where I need to be. I appreciate all the comments here. The triggers can be hard to figure out sometimes.From my experience if you know what they are it makes it easier to be prepared. self talk and medication can be very helpful if you are prepared. -Columbia


About the AllAboutCounseling.com Forum

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online: ShiningLight, needhope2124
63 Guests

Currently Browsing this Topic:
1 Guest

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 37774
Posts: 717300

Membership:

There are 82513 Members
There have been 40 Guests

There are 3 Admins

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass – 1039
zarathustra – 562
StronginHim77 – 453
2013ways – 419
curious64 – 408
free – 372

Recent New Members: admin

Administrators: ShiningLight (517 Posts), admin (21 Posts), emily430 (0 Posts)


 

Copyright © 2014 Internet Brands, Inc. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Health Disclaimer | Cookies