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My experience with Lust and the Married Man–a hot story

UserPost

10:13 am
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

Oh my gosh… confession time.

When I was married and he was married–we were both married, get it? Anyway, I started working for him on projects. Pretty soon, I got the feeling that he was just making up reasons to hire me.

There was no mistaking the chemistry the first time we were alone in the elevator together. It was just the way he looked at me. He had boundaries, but something else in his eyes had me captivated. I went back to his place of business over and over to do more work.

Once, in a meeting with the project team, I sat next to him. I had my notepad in my lap and was taking notes. Someone said something and I asked him for clarification. What I got was his hand tracing a diagram on the notepad in my lap. The diagram ended up with his finger pointing in the direction my crotch–all because he was explaining "how things worked."

Pretty soon, he invited me to share, with he and his friends, a certain sport. Well, I tried it and really enjoyed it. Fell in love with the sport really. As a group we would go out every weekend. A couple of times he and I went alone. One of those times we were in the woods together, alone practicing this particular sport. Actually for climbing you always go out into the woods somewhere, so that's not out of the ordinary.

He wanted to boulder by himself for a while and I just didn't enjoy it. So (and this is summer time so we were dressed minimaly) he takes off his shirt and starts out on one rock, while I sat back to wait. By this time the chemistry had built up to incredible near chreshendo (sp?). And I was just watching him, his muscular back and arms. It got so that I had to lie face down on the rock to cool my body off. He knew the whole time that I was watching him.

When he was done, we went off down the trail to find the perfect spot to ascend. Suddenly, he stopped and said, "look at that bird over there." Of course, I didn't see any bird and asked, "where?" He started pointing and then I realized… (you know how you have to line yourself up to see something someone else sees?) I realized then that he was trying to get me to come closer to him.

I did. We ended up about six inches apart. Both of us breathing heavily. Had we not been married, or maybe because we were married, all we would have to do is turn our heads and that would have been the end of it. I couldn't live with that on my hands–his and my marriage in jepoardy. So I stepped away… I wonder now if that was a good idea. Oh, the temptation. And on top of all that, we were both from a religious family.

Now that I'm not married any more, I often think of looking him up and calling him.

Do you all think I should? I wonder if he would remember.

10:23 am
June 1, 2005


kc30

New Member

posts -1

No, I don't think you should. He doesn't sound like much of a catch to me. And even if you're not married…he may still be?

kc

10:27 am
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

I'm sure that he is… Can't believe I'm saying this, after all the work I did last year. The place I've come to and consider myself a Christian?

I guess it's the temptation again… maybe it's the feeling of being wanted, or maybe it's the safety in that we were both married?

If I approached him today (with his being married and with children), would it feel as good, would it put an end to the lust?

Can't believe it's even a question in my mind. Talk about being a horndog!!!

10:34 am
June 1, 2005


kc30

New Member

posts -1

Sounds like you're just looking for a reason to blow your life apart…a great drama trip and an unending supply of pain and suffering for yourself, his wife and his innocent children.

That's exactly what you'll get if you pursue a married man. The temptation and forbidden nature of it…the allure of the unattainable man is what makes it so lusty. It's unreal.

He's married with children. If it's just fun fantasy…fine, but if you actually think you'd act on it…I would suggest hauling ass to the nearest therapist or CoDa meeting before you ridiculously destroy yourself at the very least.

Don't worry…I get the horndog thing!! But not with a married man. Nope, no way, no how, unless you aren't interested in a happy, healthy life of course!

kc

10:45 am
June 1, 2005


eve

New Member

posts -1

Nah,

don't contact him. I guess this thing is much better in your phantasy, than it would be in real life. And dreaming about this hot guy is allowed, touching isn't, if he's another woman's husband. At least in my book it wouldn't be, because I would disrespect me if I went after him.

Funny how our homones build up and persuade us to try silly things. How long have you been alone now?

10:55 am
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

Oh, that's the thing… I'm not alone. I'm just remembering what this was like. I yes I guess I should go to a meeting. The fantasy is better than the real thing, which would cause a lot of grief.

11:02 am
June 1, 2005


kc30

New Member

posts -1

Nothing wrong with a little lusty fantasy here and there…as long as the line between fantasy and reality remains clear! :)

I used to fantasize about my neighbor, who was one of my husband's best friends and was actually in my wedding!! He has a girlfriend and I'm not actually attracted to him…it was just the "idea" of him…what he represented…a devoted single dad, an upstanding guy, hard working, integrity, moral, and yes, he's hot and a firefighter, so that didn't hurt! I needed to believe that there were good men left out there.

I knew in "real life" there was no chemistry (he's like a brother!) and we wouldn't be compatible, even if it weren't for my stbx and if he weren't involved! It was just fun to pretend for awhile and, well, he was just across the street. It passed….

sounds like you need some lust and passion right now…not necessarily the married dude.

kc

12:44 pm
June 1, 2005


saralynn

New Member

posts -1

Be careful what you think…. Because what you think becomes what you say….

And what you say becomes what you do…

And what you do becomes who you are…"

Artist 2, 2Be posted this on another thread on liberation brew. Careful with those fantasies – if you fuel them, you'll act on them eventually! Your honesty is refreshing – ~saralynn

1:56 pm
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

Thanks! it sure does feel good unloading this… I've felt kind of guilty. I appreciate you all listening.

2:00 pm
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

I just looked him up online and found his email address. He lives far away from where we met now. That's a good thing. Wouldn't make sense to contact him now, being so far away.

But, there are my frequent flyer miles! Just kidding…

3:29 pm
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

Would it be weird to send him an email from a ficticious email address — to see if he is still even alive?

3:30 pm
June 1, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

I meant send it to his work email pretending to be interested in his company… would that be "stalking" if I were trying to find out if he was still around?

3:31 pm
June 1, 2005


jamaicanwife

New Member

posts -1

That would definitely be stalking. Plus making the fantasy real, leading to multiplicities of badness.

3:44 pm
June 1, 2005


gingerleigh

New Member

posts -1

Someone please learn from my mistakes! Don't do it!

7:40 am
June 2, 2005


peacesoul

New Member

posts -1

Artist 2……don't do it !
Like KC said, you're just looking to fuel your need for drama!

Chasing another woman's man is uncool also ! Leave the fantasy in your head.

Very cool of you to be honest though.

11:36 am
June 2, 2005


glittered when he walked

New Member

posts -1

artist2,

I hope that sharing the story here has lessened the desire to contact him. Has it?

Because you have asked – Contacting him would be unwise.

11:46 am
June 2, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

I have not had the urge to contact him today. Last night I had incredible sex with my BF, so that helped. But, fantasizing yesterday is what made it so incredible.

12:05 pm
June 2, 2005


glittered when he walked

New Member

posts -1

Congrats on the great sex!

How do you feel about the fact that you fantasized?

You used "but"

Does "but" indicate that you feel guilty? if so..should you feel guilty?

12:37 pm
June 2, 2005


Juanita

Member

posts 27

Artist 2 – I can relate, I can relate. It's almost like having a crush on someone you can't have, and that's part of the feed of the fantasy – we can't have them, so we want them more.

Sometimes you need the 'fantasy' to help achieve great s*x….

Sometimes, you feel almost like you cheated on your partner by invisioning someone else….

I don't recommend fantasing about someone you know during s*x. My spouse says its ok, but needless to say, I have my own issues with it. I mean really, when he's with me, who is he thinking of? Am I sure it's me? Is he sure it's him?

At least, for me, I need an emotional attachment to enjoy sex (screw the *) to the fullest. By fantasing about someone else, you are giving that Love/Passion to that other person, not your partner. You are subject to opening Pandora's Box! I know of what I speak. Unless you can totally detach your heart from the physical act of sex, I do not recommend fantasizing about someone you know. Fantasize about Brad Pitt or someone else. Hell, I had a dream once about doing Mel Gibson in an out door shopping plaza (he was wearing a wedding gown for some weird reason – REALLY weird, but hot, hot, hot – he had cute legs!). Made relations with my spouse really good that night afterwards. My point is, if you are going to de-personalize sex by fantasizing about another – make sure it is totally unrealistic in its expectations. I will never have Mel, but what a memory!

This is about you though. I do not recommend contacting him. He is married, you are with a BF. Period. If you were both single, that would be different, but you are not. Obviously, there is something within the committments you are both in to keep you there. Focus on that.

Try to get him out of your mind, and try to focus on your current relationship. Try to do something new with your BF while intimate – be it with Cool Whip, toys, or someTHING else ;-} … try to obtain that hot level of passion and intimacy at home. Hell, even role play – have your BF pretent he's a EMT giving you mouth to mouth, or a Police Officer arresting you for naughty behavior, or Dr giving a physical, etc, etc, etc.

Best of luck & wishes to you.
I can sympathize in your dilema.

J

1:23 pm
June 2, 2005


artist 2

New Member

posts -1

Before I went with BF last night I was feeling guilty about the reason I was turned on. Only as we got into it and I was wanting to please him, did the guilt go away. I thought… and someone on these threads said, "I don't care where you get your appetite, just come home for dinner." Well, that about explains what happened yesterday, with the thread and my BF.

Never have I had a fantasy about another person I knew while having sex with my BF. But, funny that I did have a dream about Mel Gibson giving me oral sex once. Talk about being aroused when I woke up!

I love the idea of role playing. Great suggestion.


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