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men crossdressers
November 25, 2009
9:44 pm
elaD
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I have been fighting not to wear womens colthing for over 48 years.

I have been told...

Men who were exposed to dominant females and submissive males as role models; the domination could have included abuse, or at least very strict standards, stringently enforced.. but not necessarily?

November 26, 2009
2:38 am
fantas
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elaD, Sometimes a rose is just a rose. If you find women's clothes more appealing, wear them. There were times when women who wore pants were considered lower than the scum of the earth. Now it's common place. Wear what you want. Just know that many will not accept it and may judge, shun, and rebuke you for it. Such is the life of all non-conformists. Of course if you think that there is more to it, you can address that in therapy and see if the urge goes. Otherwise, join the mayhem of shopping for women's clothings :)

November 26, 2009
8:30 am
darkeyes
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hi elad...alot of mens clothing is very femine in colour, that could be worn in every day life..underwear is your private buisness which no one needs to know about, only if your in a relationship...why struggle with this, theres way around it,..unless you want to dress completly like a woman in public and you have great conflict going on within,.

November 26, 2009
8:32 am
dagonfly
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ElaD, I have a question for you. Are you heterosexual? not a judgement just a question...... reason I asked is I just broke up with is an addict (cocaine/crack) who is also a crossdresser.
While living with me I found some thigh highs in his things and thought they were from some woman but had a suspicion/intuition that they were his so I questioned him about them. He told me the story that he since a small child liked the silky feeling of pantyhose and the way they made him feel they are a comfort to him, I know they were his because the feet in them were quite large and they were very worn and stretched out.

I also visited him in a hotel (long story) and he had gone and bought boy short undies, a slip, and some shoes size 12 shoes (found the tags in the trash and the box of shoes) and he had taken one of my dresses that was lying on the bed in my spare bedroom, reason I know that is because I had just mail ordered it and was going to return it and when I went to go get it to return it had disappeared. When confronted with that he said he does this a couple times a year.... He doesn't want to wear them all the time just on occasion. He also told me he IS heterosexual, just to let you know he is in his 40's, I don't know for sure but I think that is why or one of the reasons for his addiction he has not ever been able to live with himself because of it to me he is very much a MAN! When I research cross dressers I found this site:
http://jenellerose.com/htmlpos.....ve_men.htm

Gave me great insight to cross dressing, I am very open minded, I have a gay twin brother who I love very much, I am not prejudice.

The funny thing is I don't have a problem with him wearing women's clothing, I had a problem with the drug use..... We could have had fun with the cross dressing.....

Have a happy Thanksgiving to you,
Dragonfly

November 26, 2009
8:33 pm
chelonia mydas
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Hi Elad,

Welcome to AAC. I'm glad you are here.

Our society is full of opinions and conventions that don't fit everyone. Be who you are and be proud of it. We all are unique and should celebrate who we are. It is a shame when other's opinions prevent us from feeling free to express our individuality. It is NOT your shame, but theirs. Don't own that one, no matter how much they push it on you.

If you like women's clothes wear women's clothes and to hell with what other's think. If you have to tippy toe around someone and hide who you really are, then they are not worth your time and effort. There are many folks out there that will accept a man in a dress.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, but if you don't feel comfortable with this urge, then I encourage you to seek therapy.

Sending you acceptance, strength and enouragement to be who you are and be happy being that person.

November 30, 2009
11:46 am
Shonda
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I don't see anything wrong with it. Be yourself!!!!!!!!!! Or just be whoever the h you want to be!!!!!!!!!!!! Just make sure to accessorize properly. When dressing for evening, make sure you don't have a 5 o'clock shadow. Never wear open toe sandals without a pretty pedicure.

December 1, 2009
11:01 am
Shonda
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If you are considering wearing strapless dresses, check your back and shoulders for hair. It's worth the extra money to have professional body waxing done. With shaving, you will have the stubble factor to consider

December 1, 2009
3:35 pm
caraway
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dagonfly,

I am pleased to know that you are "open minded" and "have a gay twin brother who you love very much"; it just sounds like you are doing us Gay folks a favor? Why does this entail being "open minded" and of course you love your brother, he's your brother.

I am just not clear on why you would ask if this man is GAY? Do you automatically think a man is Gay because he is a crossdresser? I am Gay, and have never had the desire, and have actually never had any friends who were crossdreser.

Not trying to start anything here, but just pointing out that this sounds like someone who says they are not prejudice against black folks cause they have black friends.... but not anyone they actually hang out with.

Cary

December 1, 2009
4:27 pm
chelonia mydas
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Cary,

The way I read Dragonfly's post is that she shared her experience of dating a heterosexual crossdresser and offering support to Elad for being a crossdresser. She also supports other alternative lifestyles such as homosexuality. She asked Elad if he was heterosexual, not homosexual. The bit I scanned on the link she provided was about heterosexual crossdressers.

I say this next comment with honesty, respect and kindness.
Your post reads like someone with a chip on their shoulder. Probably a legitimate chip considering how our society is, but something to be aware of when offering support to others. If you want support on working through this, please start another thread and I'll be happy to discuss further.

December 1, 2009
4:57 pm
dagonfly
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Cary

Maybe I should have written that differently,that's not at all what I ment, Did not mean to offend anyone here it was merely a question that's all.

It doesn't matter if he is gay or not, actually my brother is the one that asked me if I thought my x was gay because of the crossdressing, that's really why I asked.

So hopefully if/when Elad reads this he will not take it the way you have.

I do appologize if I have offended you and ElaD.

All I wanted to say is I don't see anything wrong with crossdressing period.... maybe that's all I should have written!

Before I post anything else I will have to REALLY read what I am saying before I hit send!

December 1, 2009
4:59 pm
dagonfly
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Chelonia,
Ya hit the nail on the head, thanks for understanding my comment!

December 1, 2009
5:20 pm
truthBtold
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Oy Vey, I dunno if I have something meaningful here to offer or not, but you know, I'll give it a shot.

Sexuality, it seems to me, WAS, IS and ALWAYS WILL BE just this big ole HUGE "shades of gray area" which CAN be very fluid and transient FOR SOME throughout their lives and just 'so-called 'traditional' shall we say, FOR OTHERS.

("Traditional" being the key word here.)

Why all the hub-bub?

I dunno. I think that it depends on where you live, quite honestly....to some extent.

I assume that most who post here are from the USA, though I could be wrong.

But with that assumption in mind, it seems to me that we as Americans are pretty much still a 'young' country when compared to say, Europe for example and still sadly, have just a 'boat-load' (pun intended :-) of very strict and stringent/black white/ stoic views with regard to sexuality thanks in no small part to the vestiges of a still very prominent purintanical mindset which sadly, I feel still covertly infiltrate and influences this soceity on many, many levels to this day.

I dunno for sure, but I have a sneaky suspicion that other countries secretly might view the Americans as still being a little behind the times and rather prudish when it comes to sexuality. shrug. Don't know for sure - but that's my sense......

As long as you are an adult and do not violate any laws regarding sexuality with children and/or snuff crap or anything else that all countries agree are clearly criminal - you know, there are real problems in the world which have nothing to do with cross-dressing by comparison.

Anyway...that's my 2 cents (are they still made with copper?) for what its worth.......

tBt

December 1, 2009
11:52 pm
Shonda
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Another thing to keep in mind is hiding the bulge. When you try on clothes make sure they fit, but don't check the bulge only when you're standing straight. You have to check it when you're sitting down as well. Do that to avoid embarrassment.

December 3, 2009
11:46 am
Shonda
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If you use a real female pheremone you wont blow your cover with masculine sweat.

December 3, 2009
3:52 pm
caraway
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dragonfly,

Please don't edit what you write. I think we all need to share what we think and feel here. I just wanted to point out that sometimes we make assumptions that don't add up.

I truly am not upset and know from your post that you would not intentionally say anything offensive. I think we both want to provide support for Elad.

Best,

Cary

December 3, 2009
4:16 pm
MsGuided
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The kind of clothes a person wears doesn't determine sexual orientation.

Clothing and accessories are usually influenced by societal preferences and pressures. Some poeple balk at that and opt for their own preferences.

Lots of women and men these days cross over with what they wear.

I wear aLOT of mens clothes due to my job.Doesn't make me a lesbian. Marks Work Wharehouse mens work pants and shirts. They're just made better than womens workwear and cost less.

I think men who are hetero feel more shame when they enjoy womens lacy things. Even if they wear a designer shirt or suit that has a more feminine cut, interesting material pattern or colour is hard to do. Most men use their Tie to express something. How sad!

You see musicians and entertainers of all kinds choosing interesting fashions. Some are Hetero some are not.

I don't think it matters at all.
I feel sorry for men these days because their fashion persona in public is so limited.

Centuries ago men used to wear stockings, frills, elaborate patterns, silks, wigs, makeup and they were hetero. For thousands of years this went on.

Bring it back! Set our men free!

Why do Gay men and women get to have the most fun with fashion?

Where's Elad? ;0)

December 6, 2009
4:18 pm
Shonda
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Don't forget to take care of your skin. If you don't already know about moisturizers, check at a cosmetic counter for tips. You don't want to look like a dude in drag.

August 10, 2013
2:11 pm
2013ways
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chelonia mydas said:

Cary,

The way I read Dragonfly's post is that she shared her experience of dating a heterosexual crossdresser and offering support to Elad for being a crossdresser. She also supports other alternative lifestyles such as homosexuality. She asked Elad if he was heterosexual, not homosexual. The bit I scanned on the link she provided was about heterosexual crossdressers.

I say this next comment with honesty, respect and kindness.

Your post reads like someone with a chip on their shoulder. Probably a legitimate chip considering how our society is, but something to be aware of when offering support to others. If you want support on working through this, please start another thread and I'll be happy to discuss further.

To celonia mydas: Your use of the word "alternative lifesyles such as homosexualityFrown" is politically incorrect.

  "Alternate lifestyle" implies that it is a lifestyle chosen by a person, rather than an important and permanent aspect of who they are. If anyone tells you that sexual orientation is a choice, set them straight (no pun intended).

Personally, I find calling it a lifestyle is offensive.Frown I have a friend that has been living with me for years. Outside of the fact she also a female, what is the difference between a straight persons lifestyle and mine? I go to work each morning. I eat three meals a day and look for companionship from someone I care about. How is that different then your lifestyle chelonia mydas?Laugh


October 4, 2013
1:37 am
!@#$%&*
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  •  Judgmental people like the Chelonia Mydas of the world are much like Debbie Downers.  In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over.  If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring.  Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
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