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Masterbation
October 25, 2003
12:18 pm
lost_one
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I use masterbation to get sexual as well as emotional fulfillment. Do you use masterbation for the same purpose? Is it different , in terms of purpose, from males and females?

October 25, 2003
5:59 pm
arwen
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Hey. I know I'm posting on all the sexual threads. So, I'm a sexual person. So shoot me!

When I was in therapy years ago, I came to the stunning realization that I was masturbating out of anger or shame a lot of times to punish myself if I felt I did something wrong. It was a way of continuing to abuse myself when I thought I deserved it. This was a shocking realization for me.

My therapist (who is a nun, ain't that a kicker!??) suggested that I learn to appreciate my body, in all its glorious imperfection, and focus on knowing when I was masturbating in an attempt to punish myself.

I still struggle with poor body image, but have learned to concentrate on meeting more of my emotional needs when I masturbate. It is much more satisfying when I give myself foreplay instead of just going to town, and stay focused on using masturbation as a way to love myself both emotionally and physically.

Arwen

October 25, 2003
7:46 pm
unhappy camper
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Ple-Ese...give me a break.

The nun said you were punishing yourself? that's a hoot

I was brought up Catholic btw.

I'm still laughing.....of course she is going to be against it

They all are against sex

But just look at the mess they are in

October 25, 2003
11:41 pm
arwen
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I should not post mid-migraine. I'm not doing it well.

The nun didn't tell me I was punishing myself. I told her in a session that I was very angry with myself over something, and realized it when I was masturbating. The way I was thinking, how I was treating myself, it felt abusive. When I disclosed this, then she suggested that I work ascertaining my feelings before I did anything sexual because it was a way for me to act out against myself.

I'm looking at this and thinking I probably didn't make anything clearer... Oh well.

Arwen

October 25, 2003
11:53 pm
Hoopla
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It's just a release. Physical and emotional, I think. Feels good to know that I don't NEED another person (at least literally) to bring about pleasure. Feels good to know that there's one thing that I can do for myself that is...well...quite satisfying every single time!

I equate that to traveling alone, which I also enjoy. I can do what I want, when I want and spend as much or as little as I want...A real vacation to me! I'm not bound by the limits of time, space or other people.

Any feedback on that?

October 25, 2003
11:57 pm
arwen
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I would love to be as confident and independent as you...

Arwen

October 26, 2003
1:53 am
lost_one
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Thanks Arwen for the revelation. Now I could understand why I used to masterbate so hard whenever my dad used to beat me when I was a teenager. It was a a sign of defiance and anger.

I masterbate now to get all the love and affection that I can not get in real life. How sad!!!!

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