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Lately, I keep losing my temper…

UserPost

9:00 am
June 26, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Well I have to make this brief as I am working…it seems that I have been losing my temper lately. I think it has to do with a lot of life changes and work changes. This year alone, I moved four times and twice our office has moved. I work in a really small office of 5 people and work and live in a really small town. So to the point…everybody knows your business. I don't really have a problem living in a small town, but working in a small office is hell sometimes. Two people in particular like to cause negativity and strife…in other words they look at everything you do, wear, say, analyize the minutes you are early or late etc…. Those two love to backstab. Anyway, today I snapped back at one of the two and then the other one came and put her two cents in…basically I was wrong about my timesheet (taking a day off) I thought I had left early on that particular day. Well, when I tried to discuss it nicely, the secretary snapped my head off first thing in the morning and I snapped back in a passive-aggressive way (I'm really working on that). Now, I have just shut the door and am working…I have decided that I will not have anymore friendly chit chat with them. I really need assertivness training.

Also, I lost my temper with my fiance yesterday over something that was stupid. I just need you all to pray for me…

Oh yeah, I have dysthimia.. and depression flares up every now and then… and lately I have been on the low curve. That may have something to do with it.

9:35 am
June 26, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Hi KrazyKK,
When I lose my temper, it's time to re-evaluate what is pushing my buttons….the real reason and not the superficial stuff.

10:19 am
June 26, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Thanks mj-

You are right, I guess I just need some alone time to figure things out. Hope everything is going okay with your move. My prayers are with you..and your new life.

KK

10:26 am
June 26, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Funny this topic comes up. Lately I've been struggling with the same thing, krazykk! I was thinking about it last night and my husband jokingly said I need a punching bag in our new basement, something I could beat on and relieve some of my pent up aggression. Reading what mj wrote and thinking about it — I feel at loose ends lately, waiting for my classes to start, feeling somewhat crappy because of work — not EMS but my professional job. I'm the youngest employed at my office. I'm the second out of four, as far as seniority goes. But sometimes I feel that because of my looks and my age I don't get the perks associated with my seniority. Just minor things but they rankle me. Yesterday was a bad day. I feel like when I bring up an issue that is bothering me, I get the verbal of a pat pat on the head and the issue slides away and nothing is ever done. But everyone likes me, so it's very frustrating. I'll bet if I had sensible shoes and a nice bun on top of my head people would take me more serious professionally. Don't get me wrong, I'm the one who is good with the computers, I can figure most anything out on them but as far as…ok. Example. I sometimes go to other offices and work there, in my company. This began when I started here five and a half years ago. Back then it was because I was the peon. I had almost three years under my belt in this field then, but started over here, at the bottom of the ladder. So now fastforward ahead and we've two newer employees. Yesterday my boss comes out and says, can you work in (another office) Monday and Thurs next week? I said, actually no, I'd rather not, could you send (our summer intern) instead? He says, I already told them you would so…. and goes back in his office. I waited five minutes to ensure a calmer air and betook myself to his office and we visited. I outlined that I was hired to be a fulltime person in our office and only had to fill in occasionally back then cuz I was the newest employee, which I am not anymore. This is not my job description and while I do like to see the other employees and get along with all of them just fine, this office is where I was hired to work. I frankly said it's a pain (for various reasons related to my profession.) He listened and when I was all done said, "Well you work so fast and so well and everyone likes you so they ask for you. And (the intern) isn't trained to do all the things you are. So…" And that was that. Pat the blonde on the head and ignore her legitimate point. Tata. Off with you dear. OOOOOOOHHHHH! Like I said, sensible shoes and a bun and I bet things would be different. I'd look more responsible or something. Not fair.

So, things like that really trip me off. I did calm down on the way home tho because I decided to transfer the next time there's an opening in our main office. It's actually a little closer to our new home, and in the same town as the EMS unit I am on call for during the week a few times. Also, my mom lives in that town and it's a bigger town, with readier access to bigger stores, dry cleaning, etc. So. Felt better once I decided on a course of action.

But yeah. Mj is right. I may have been ticked about the relatively little thing at work, but the bigger issue is my fear of things being out of my control, not going as I plan.

Sorry to ramble.:)

12:52 pm
June 26, 2003


Anonymous

New Member

posts -1

Gee SIXFOOTBLOND, I am in a simular situation. I am definitly the youngest worker here late-twenties and I was working in a major volume high stress city for two years(I work with juvenile delinquents) with super huge crimes and then I moved over here for my sanity and to attend graduate school. When I came to the small town court system, I quickley realized that I didn't know crap–whereas I was used to being the smart-most knowlegable persons in the city. Plus over here-little things mean a lot —A LOT. You lose a sheet of paper here, forget it, there goes your good reputation….I'm not kidding. The secretary here has to feel like she is the boss of everything, and she doesn't ever think she is capable of making a mistake. Yeaahhh right.

Alright, I'm a little bitter. But truthfully, I am happier in a small town over all so I guess that counts.

I keep thinking, All I have to do is get this masters (Guidence and Counseling) and I am out of the juvenile justice system asap… I like my job, but I can't see myself doing this for the next 5-10 years.
Thanks for your story-KK


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