I have a fear of being judged. I think that's it. I'm surrounded by people that do it all too much. My roommate is, my boyfriend is and im trying to hard to be the "perfect" roommate or girlfriend and not to piss them off. I've seen how they've acted before, toward others and dont' want them to feel the same way about me. So I continue to not feel comfortable in my own house (not leaving my stuff in the living room cause she gets mad or cleaning up after myself constantly when she is the messiest person in the world but doesnt think so) it's like Im living with my mom again but she doesnt even act like that. Then there is my boyfriend, he is so judgemental about everyone. I get mad and pick fights with him cause i'm sticking up for other peoples actions but it's no use. He just doesn't see the good in people. My best friend feels the same way toward him-she told me today and I understand completely. He has the aura about him that people value his opinions and we dont want him to think badly of us.
September 24, 2010
Wait stop hold it.....
"I'm trying hard to be the perfect roommate and girlfriend" ???????????
1) the roommate. find a new one. You are being the mom ... she the teenager.
2) The boyfirend...are you thinking of marrying this guy? He won't ever change. He will always be judgemental and you will always be wlking on eggshells and if you have kids you'll have to protect them from his mean judgements.
You sound kind, caring and very coodependent.
I think you need to trust you instincts. And you need to surround yourself with friends that like you for YOU not what you could be or what you can do for them (keep the house picked up)
You are valuable even if you are messy. and even if you are not judgemental. I don';t think I would value those tow people's opinions more than I do my own. They are to narrow and shallow.
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