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How do you leave someone you love?

UserPost

8:26 pm
September 25, 2011


misfit1965

New Member

posts 1

I use to have self esteem, that's gone. 

How do you leave someone you love? I've been with him for 20yrs and I do love him. He's a rreally nice guy to everyone else. He does have a drinking problem and I think thats where his anger towards me comes from. When I get ready to leave, he says and does all the right things, but I know they're temporary. I ordered Codependent No more and hope that will help. We have gone t counseling on and off for years. We both have health concens and each is coping with that. Me, more by myself. I feel like there is something wrong with me because my husband, who is supposed to love me for the rest of my life, does a lot of things onconsciously that hurt. I feel like I definately do not fall on his priority list. He just takes me for granted. In the mean time, I have become a hermit. I don't talk to friends anymore because I don't have anything exciting to say. I can't think of anything that makes me happy anymore. I know I should focus on the positive, but it feels like the negative is overwhelming. Everytime I think of leaving him, that kills me to, because I love him. I know he lovesme, he just was raised in an alcoholic family and the cycle continues. How do you leave someone you love? Unhappy with him the majority of the time, but feel that I can't live with out him.

I always say, it's time to go, when you would rather be dead, then feel this pain, but never being with him… I don't know

help, please

9:55 pm
September 26, 2011


ShiningLight

Admin

posts 516

misfit1965,

 

Your husband needs help. His drinking problem might be the root cause of his negative treatment towards you. You should submit your partner to any alcohol rehab facility in order for him to get help and proper treatment. If he would be more willing about his recovery then that's a good sign that there is still to something to save in your relationship. Prioritize his treatment first before anything gets complicated and worse.

 

Letting go is not easy. It would really take a lot of courage but if you think it's the only way to make him realize his mistakes then just do it even if it means hurting yourself because you still love him. Besides, if he really loves you then he would be willing enough to change his direction and most of all, he should not hurt you emotionally, intellectually and physically.

 

Keep posting and Hoping for the best.


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