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How do I discreetly tell someone their spouse is cheating.

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1:13 pm
August 6, 2004


New Member

posts -1

You don't!!!

1:21 pm
August 6, 2004


New Member

posts -1

I would stay out of it unless the one being cheated on is a very close friend.

11:11 pm
August 6, 2004



posts 30

A long time ago I was very good friends with 2 people who were married. The wife became "a manizer?" (can that possibly be the oppposite of womanizer? – is there such a word?) Since she and I were friends we would sometimes go out while her husband was working until I noticed that this same guy would always be there and once she flat out left me stranded at a party while she took off w/ this guy. I ended up telling the husband because I didn't like what she was blatantly doing to him and using me to do it. Well it turned out bad for me as they got together again and I was the bad guy. Years later they got divorced anyhow but it wasn't a good experience for me. So i don't know what the answer is- just sharing an experience. If it were me, I would want to know about the betrayal so I could deal with it and not be made o fool of.

11:45 pm
August 6, 2004


New Member

posts -1

Dear Fairy! I think- it is your thread some one brought up again- I remember the discussion! If you click on “View all posts”, you can see it. Here is what happened with me:

You all heard about my situation. Well… My official b/f (the yang one) decided to brake up with me in March. He did. He took his stuff and moved out from my house. But what else he did is- he sent e-mail to my other’s friend’s girlfriend, telling that he is cheating on her and about to have a baby with me. She did not tell any one what she knows. She made ultimatum: my friend must quit our band, never see me and get married with her. They got married month later, and I did not see him from that time. She told him only after wedding, that she had this e-mail. So- I had to ask “official”: on what side he is- on my or on her? He told me- he is my friend- so far- information he gave to my competition helped her to ruin my life. But he says- he loves me! Should I forgive him?

9:49 am
August 7, 2004


New Member

posts -1

I say if you are a good friend to the one being cheated on – I mean really close – then maybe tell. But it's tricky. If you are just acquaintances with both of them, I'd stay the hell out of it.

10:04 am
August 7, 2004


New Member

posts -1

I can tell you from experience that it is important to know. I had no idea and I was told by my wife's boss!!! How embarassing! Seems many many people knew about the infidelity but me, being the trusting loving wife, even after being told didn't believe it! I had to see it with my own eyes. Sometimes telling someone something like this can ruin a friendship. I do feel that the person being cheated on has a right to know but it is a very sticky situation and you risk losing a friend

10:22 am
August 7, 2004


New Member

posts -1

Geez! I am dyslexic today! I mean I was told by my boss's wife!.


11:02 am
August 7, 2004


New Member

posts 1

You don't – it's none of your business. Let them work it out themselves.

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