Fear of being replaced??????????
In reading a response on one of the threads someone mentioned staying in an unhappy relationship because of a fear of being replaced. And it got me thinking. I guess logically I might say, when you are being mistreated, verbally abused, belittled and degraded, why would you have fear that someone else would take on that role and give you the opportunity to escape.
Emotionally I understand low self esteem and jealousy but the reality is, those you fear will leave you are un-healthy people just as we are un-healthy because we remain in un-healthy relationships.
I think that everyone assumes that the (other person found) will be just like them, have the same needs as you etc. And you fear their relationship will be like yours only “better” impossible, 2 people bring 2 unique sets of needs, attitudes and behaviors to any relationship, no two are the ever the same. Un-healthy people bring un-healthy behavior, period, no matter who they end up with.
I think getting a hold of that fear, examining it further and logically thinking it out may help subside it.
But ultimately the question has to come back around to you and the person looking back at you in the mirror as to why you hold onto a dysfunctional relationship, why you feel you deserve this poor treatment, your actions of remaining say you will continue to tolerate it, especially if it’s only you working on trying to fix it.
Alcoholics/addicts don’t have relationships, they take hostages.