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Codependents Bill of rights
July 7, 2005
10:14 am
kathygy
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The Personal Bill of Rights

1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival.
2. You have the right to say no to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is not safe.

3. Life should not be motivated by fear.

4. You have a right to all of your feelings.

5. You are probably not guilty.

6. You have a right to make mistakes.

7. There is no need to smile when you cry.

8. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down or humiliated.

9. You can be healthier than those around you.

10. It is OK to be relaxed, playful, and frivolous.

11. You have a right to change and grow.

12. It is important to set limits and be selfish.

13. You can be angry at someone you love.

14. You can take care of yourself, no matter what circumstances you are in.

July 7, 2005
10:25 am
Rasputin
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Thank you so much Kathy. It was really very informative and educational. Funny, I'm already practicing these things.

~Love, Ras~

July 7, 2005
11:02 am
kathygy
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Ras, that's great! I'm really glad to hear that. Sometimes I need a reminder of my rights.

July 7, 2005
7:18 pm
SoVeryLost
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I must not be in your country then, those rights are alien to me.

July 7, 2005
7:31 pm
exoticflower
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thank you for posting this, it is something I could stand to go over with myself right now.

SoveryLost, I think that if you gave things like this a shot, you may start to feel better, start giving yourself a chance!:)

July 9, 2005
8:42 pm
Anonymous
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OH Kathy!

Thanks for this.

I have to post at least 8 of the 10.

I get a little agitated that this stuff doesn't come naturally to me.

What I mean is, I've seen seven year olds with clearer understanding of their Personal Bill of Rights than I have sometimes.

SIGH

Well, You live, and you learn, and you take it one day at a time, RIGHT GIRLS!!!

July 9, 2005
8:56 pm
exoticflower
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RIGHT!

July 10, 2005
9:19 am
Anonymous
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OK,

I DID IT: Posted them on the Fridge.

Comitted most to memory.

Now I feel as mature as any 7 year old about my personal rights.

HA! In your face Courtney, and Jessica, and Lisa.

And now that I know my rights, things are gonna change...

The next time I pick you up in my car, and take you to my house to watch Powerpuff Girls on my tv: I get to be Blossom.

August 12, 2005
12:04 pm
exoticflower
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Boosting this up (thanks again Kathy), as well as a little something that came up in the search box with it that I thought was very interesting.

**********************************
babysteps
28-Jul-04

Thought'd we'd all benefit from this; my therapist gave it to me last week. :)
YOU HAVE A RIGHT... -to put yourself first, sometimes. -to make mistakes. -to be the final judge of your feelings and to accept them as legitimate. -to your own opinions and convications. -to change your mind or choose a different course of action. -to protest unfair treatment or criticism. -to negotiate for change. -to ask for help or emotional support. -to ignore the advice of others. -to say "NO." -to be aone, even if others would prefer your company. -not to take responsibilty for someone else's problem.

IT IS NEVER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO... -give what you really don't want to give. -sacrifice your integrity to anyone. -do more than you have time to do. -drain your strength for others. -listen to unwise counsel. -remain in an unfair relationship. -conform to unreasonable demands. -be 100% perfect. -follow the crowd. -put up with unpleasant situations. -please unpleasant people. -bear the burden of another's misbehavior. -do something you really cannot do. -love unloveable people. -feel guility about your inner desires. -submit to overbearing conditions. -apologize for being yourself. -meekly let life pass you by. -be anyone but EXACTLY who you are.

August 12, 2005
12:18 pm
Anonymous
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EF,

This is one of the most refreshing things I've ever read.

Thanks for sharing it.

August 12, 2005
12:24 pm
jamaicanwife
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This has really helped me today. You can't know how much.

August 12, 2005
12:25 pm
Rasputin
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Thank you sweet Flower for sharing this wholesome information with us.

August 12, 2005
3:17 pm
EJ
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Hi Flower,

My mom just stopped by to fill me up with "unwise counsel" about staying married for the sake of the children and because all men are losers anyway and it's unrealistic of me to expect to find a "prince charming" - which I don't, btw, just a healthy adult, please.

I was feeling low and guilty for not towing the family line, and reading this has given me a ton of encouragement and strength. It's wonderful to have a place to come for the wise counsel I unfortunately could never get from my nutty parents.

A big hug to you, and
Thanks for helping with my "reparenting".

Love,
EJ

August 12, 2005
3:23 pm
stwhirlwind
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Thanks for posting this!

August 12, 2005
10:22 pm
exoticflower
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Actually, everyone, it was Kathygy who posted the bill of rights (if you click on 'view all posts', it's really excelent) and "babysteps" who I have never met, who posted the second part seen at the top in 2004. Just thought some of us could really use these both right now, all I did was bump it up while looking for it for myself...again, Thanks to Kathy and Babysteps for this!!!

August 12, 2005
11:10 pm
coderecovery
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Thanks for this. Thissi my first day here. Thanks for this.

August 13, 2005
1:03 am
helpinghand
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great post for reflection.

August 22, 2005
10:06 pm
exoticflower
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To see the bill of rights, click on "View first post" in the upper left hand corner!

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