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BONDAGE & MASTER/SLAVE RELATIONSHIPS
August 29, 2006
6:32 pm
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This type of relationship

MASTER/slave

has never had an attraction for me.

Its the socalled domination that turns me off. Yet ...how many of us agree, almost inadvertantly, to find ourselves in these kinds of relationships anyway.

It somewhat ....perhaps even niavely means to me, that the very best of relationships exhibit true equality.

Some one who keeps us on out toes and unspokenly asks for the best from us (me) has me hooked on a journey of self-revelation.

So give me relationship most any time

Thanks for listening, much appreciated

August 29, 2006
6:44 pm
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Come on everyone what is your true opinion on Master/slave relationships. I am really curious

August 29, 2006
7:23 pm
bonni
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Littlespirit,
my opinion: different strokes for different folks, within the bounds of a mutually consensual adult relationship....

That being said, i'm a little intrigued by the thought, but its not a place I'd willingly go myself, at least not hardcore stuff. Sometimes I like a little kink in the bedroom. We role play a little, and it could seem like he takes control, but we both know that we're both in control. And that's only in a relationship with high trust where all the other groundwork came first and the little kink is the spice that keeps it interesting. Too much spice is not a good thing though.

bonni

August 29, 2006
8:05 pm
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Your so right ... too much spice and it becomes too hot and one can get shot down in flames.

I really like what you had to say.

For me its always an exploration of self and the other ... especially feelings and saying no when I want to.

August 29, 2006
8:45 pm
Matteo
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Bonni, you put it perfectly in those words: "it could seem like he takes control, but we both know that we're both in control." That's the key to the difference between playing being a dominant or submissive and actually controlling or being someone's sex slave.

August 29, 2006
9:45 pm
Worried_Dad
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Some people find that kind of play to be enjoyable and rewrding. Some people find it to be an essential and inextricable part of their sexual identity.

August 30, 2006
2:49 pm
Notsure
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BDSM is a complex sexual genre. The Master/slave relationship is only a small part of it and has different connotations for those involved.

Some couples are 24/7 in an actual M/s relationship (referred to by some as lifestyle) while others just want a Dominant/submissive sexual relationship (often referred to as kink) while still others just want a D/s sex thing (also called play) some of the time.

Before people draw fast conclusions it does not ALWAYS involve whips and pain by the way, though obviously that is often a key component of kinky play.

Those involved in the 24/7 aspect take it very seriously and it is at times very difficult to be a Master or the female equivalent, a Mistress. This is not about spanking someone this is about living in a relationship.

While the perception is that in kinky play, the Dom, Mistress or Master is in control it only appears that way. IT is in fact the submissive who derives much pleasure and satisfaction and calls the shots and thus who is in charge. If the Dom doesn't listen to the sub then obviously the scene is abusive and won't be repeated. Plus, if that is the case, you probablky won't have a relationship. Thus "trust" in play is extremely important and safe words need to be employed.

By the way there are numerically far more dominant females (Mistresses) than there are Masters.

Confused yet? If so, perhaps some reading might be in order.

Hope this helps. Regards. Notsure

August 31, 2006
7:47 pm
doubleloss
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penny, it's all about our instincts. I think people should do what pleases them sexually, so many options so many different tastes. The rule for me is never to do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, maybe I'll try somethin once if i don't totally dig it, forget it. It's about self-love and self-respect for me.
I'm sorry you're feelining sucke it, but at least you knew it from the beginning, and there is really nothing wrong with being curious and enjoying the attention. At least you're listening you yourself and moving on right away!! good for you!

September 2, 2006
6:46 pm
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I suppose I shouldn't talk about Master/slave relationships ... at least, sexually, unless I have tried it.

Yet I do know that this form of relationship doesn't work in other aspects of my life. I really am for equality, mutuality, fun, and yes ... excitment. No right or wrong just don't think it would work for me. I enjoy taking turns and fun at no cost to anyone.

Does this make any sense or just demonstrate my narrowmindedness?

September 4, 2006
6:14 pm
healintime
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Hi Little,

Not narrowminded - whatever is comfortable for you is comfortable for you. I think the word fun hits the nail on the head. If it's "fun" it's likely to be something that doesn;t make you uncomfortable. I've had a little (fun) consensual roleplay in some relationships and then one boyfriend who sprung "rough" sex on me totally out of context. Wasn't loving, or fun, or comfortable. I think trust has a lot to do with it - someone you trust being a little dominant? Can be fun. Someone you don't being rough? Not much fun. Thankfully I was smart enough to end it there.

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