I want to help her but don't know how. | Disorders | Forum

I am married to a wonderful woman who suffers from Codependency. She has taken care of her parents for the last 20 years, they are both elderly and they and the rest of the family control her life. My step daughter can’t do things for herself because Mom is always running to take care of it for her. I was recently diagnosed as being bi-polar and she acts like she has to shoulder taking care of me also and that isn't so. I know that unless I can get her to let some of the responsibility and the feelings of guilt for doing so be passed off to some one else in the family she is going to have a nervice breakdown worrying about everything. It has gotten so bad we can't even go out for the weekend without her checking in with them. Is there anything I can do to help her over come this? If you have any ideas please give them to me. I can use all the help I can get. Thank you.

Mafi's right. I'd buy the book, read it first, then ask her to read it.

Many of us here are co-dependant. She sounds like she was raised that way and has been going through a cycle with her parents for quite some time. She does seem to be piling too much on herself. You and your daughter can change yourselves to short-circuit the cycle towards you.

So, change yourself first, give your daughter some coping skills and broach the subject with your wife.

And see where you go from there!!

Good luck….

Jenny